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You said sloppy! Look, I didn't even use my sword I hit him with my head, like a moron.

Ilona Andrews

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Ilona Andrews
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More quotes by Ilona Andrews

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I wondered if kicking him in the head would make the whole explanation pop out of his mouth in one chunk.
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Crazy Curran ranked right up there with monsoons, tornadoes, earthquakes, and other natural disasters.
Ilona Andrews
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Ted said, You're working for the Order now. Yes. How does it feel? Well, Doctor, it feels rather sore and tingly.
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Her face looked like it would shatter any second.
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Kate Daniels, trained negotiator. When in possession of some valuable information, give it away to the first sexy man you see with no guarantee of return.
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When walking into the lair of the dragon after robbing his hoard, the least you could do is hold you head high [...]
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Just so you know: if a rakshasa shows up, I left my sword in the car.
Ilona Andrews
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... That would be like stepping in front of a moving train and saying, 'Hey, honey, come stand next to me.' I hopped off the wall and stood next to him. Anytime. He just looked at me. I've never killed a train before. It might be fun to try.
Ilona Andrews
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Juke glanced into her cup before tipping it down to her mouth. Screw you! Now come on, sugar, you know I don't swing that way. Whatever!
Ilona Andrews
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Im's offspring stare at stars and make clocks that calculate useless happenings like the angle of a hawk's claws as it strikes its prey. They demonstrate their contraptions and everyone marvels. My children get drunk, confuse a herd of cows with an enemy regiment, and slaughter the lot, screaming like lunatics until the entire army panics.
Ilona Andrews
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I’d give him a cup of coffee and a big helping of a knuckle sandwich. Generosity was a virtue and I was in the mood to be extremely virtuous.
Ilona Andrews
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I flexed my wrist, popped a silver needle into my palm, and offered it to him. 'What's this?' 'A needle.' 'What should I do with it?' He'd walked right into it. Too easy. 'Please use it to pop your head. It's obscuring my view of the room.' - Kate & Saiman
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My ego doesn't need soothing. I don't want him soothing anything of mine, including you.
Ilona Andrews
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Shane lowered his glasses on his nose and gave me his version of a severe stare. I leaned a little toward Luther. Is this the part where I faint in fear? Luther bit his lip. He might also accept falling to your knees and holding your hands in humble supplication. Makes it easier for him to slap the cuffs on.
Ilona Andrews
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You should name him Fezzik. Inconceivable.
Ilona Andrews
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If the lot of you survives, Curran will fray the skin off your backs,' Doolittle said. 'That's what I always love about you, Doctor.' Raphael grinned. 'You're a cup-halfway-full kind of guy. All flowers and sunshine.
Ilona Andrews
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Cajun stomp? You heard me, swamper. And keep your hands to yourself.
Ilona Andrews
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He lunged for the maps. I grabbed the chair and hit him with it. He went down. I hit him again to make sure he stayed that way, stepped over him, and picked up the maps. I win.
Ilona Andrews
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Your favorite volhv showed up half an hour ago, complaining about his lack of sleep and stupid gods. He says he brought his Batman belt.
Ilona Andrews
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I'm welding the bimbo room shut.
Ilona Andrews