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On your best day, you're only as good as I am on my worst with one arm tied behind my back.

Ilona Andrews

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Ilona Andrews
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More quotes by Ilona Andrews

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I wondered if kicking him in the head would make the whole explanation pop out of his mouth in one chunk.
Ilona Andrews
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I batted my eyelashes and did my best to appear dumb as a board
Ilona Andrews
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Tiny gold sparks flared in his irises. You're in my rooms in my bathtub naked and you're still mouthing off. Did he expect anything different? Hey, I didn't kick or punch you in the throat. I consider this progress. And you haven't choked me again, which is some sort of record for you.
Ilona Andrews
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Perhaps I just wasn't scary enough. Maybe I should invest in some horns or fangs.
Ilona Andrews
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It's awful to be rich and mind-boggingly handsome and have women fawn over you. My heart bleeds for you. Poor dear, how do you manage?
Ilona Andrews
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Did I hurt you in the parking lot? No, m'lady. I fell, so I could put a tracker on your car. Great.
Ilona Andrews
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Ted said, You're working for the Order now. Yes. How does it feel? Well, Doctor, it feels rather sore and tingly.
Ilona Andrews
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I'm going to kick you in the head when I get home. Repeatedly.
Ilona Andrews
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Had he expected me to hump her leg?
Ilona Andrews
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Andrea: ....I think a dog is a great idea. I just never pictured you with a mutant poodle.” Kate: “He isn’t a poodle. He’s a Doberman mix. Andrea: “Aha. Keep telling yourself that.
Ilona Andrews
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They had picked up Julie's scent hit wolfsbane lost her and found her trail again at the crumbling Highway 23 except it was two hours old and mixed with horse scents. She was hitchhiking. Great. Awesome. At least she always carried a knife with her. When I relayed this to Curran he shrugged and said, If she kills anybody we'll make it go away.
Ilona Andrews
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Having a fling with you doesn't appeal to me. You're handsome, but you're too inexperienced to be good in bed. Having ridden many horses doesn't make you a good rider it just proves that you can't recognize a good one or don't know how to keep her.
Ilona Andrews
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Where is Arland? Rapunzel decided to walk around in the woods to get 'the feel of the battleground.' He won't leave the grounds and he promises to defend the inn with 'all the strength in his body.' I told him if he gets in trouble, he should try singing prettily so his woodland friends will come to the rescue. I don't think he got it.
Ilona Andrews
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Who is Hunter Becker? Becker the Gory? Lighthouse Keepers? Boston? I would've preferred Becker the Easiley Surrendering or Becker the Quite Reasonable, but beyond that his name tells me nothing.
Ilona Andrews
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You fellows ever thought of hiring out as a Christmas lights crew? You’d make a fortune.
Ilona Andrews
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Other pirates leaped over the railing. One, two... seven... thirteen. A baker’s dozen. Wait, fifteen. Eighteen... Twenty-one. The odds weren’t in our favor. “Maybe they just came over to borrow a cup of sugar,” I said. Andrea barked a short laugh. Curran put his hand on my shoulder. “That’s a lot of sugar. Must be a big cake.
Ilona Andrews
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Only poor people are weird. Rich people are eccentric.
Ilona Andrews
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Oh, it's you, Curran's voice said quietly. I thought it was an elephant.
Ilona Andrews
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I could have fixed almost everything else, but death defeated me every time.
Ilona Andrews
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Cajun stomp? You heard me, swamper. And keep your hands to yourself.
Ilona Andrews