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On your best day, you're only as good as I am on my worst with one arm tied behind my back.

Ilona Andrews

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Ilona Andrews
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More quotes by Ilona Andrews

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It's awful to be rich and mind-boggingly handsome and have women fawn over you. My heart bleeds for you. Poor dear, how do you manage?
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For a second I thought I might actually be alive, I said, looking at Nick's unshaven face. Now I know- I've gone to Hell and you're my nursemaid.
Ilona Andrews
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All men are liars. All women are liars, too.
Ilona Andrews
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I can't hate people that much. Don't get me wrong. I want to murder every last Keeper I can find. But that's not hate. That's vengeance.
Ilona Andrews
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He groaned and I saw his face. Curran! I would've preferred a homicidal lunatic. Oh, wait...
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I stopped the blade two inches before it touched Andrea’s neck. Because she was my best friend, and sticking knives into your best friend’s windpipe was generally considered to be a social faux pas.
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Let’s talk.” I pinned Red to his chair with my stare. I did deranged quite well, when the occasion required.
Ilona Andrews
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You're not going to die? Not right this minute. And of course, saying something like that usually resulted in immediate dying. I braced myself for a stray meteorite falling through the roof to crush my skull.
Ilona Andrews
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Did the Order return your sense of humor as part of the severance package?
Ilona Andrews
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We can do subtle, I assured her. It's our middle name, Andrea added. For some odd reason Rene didn't look convinced.
Ilona Andrews
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Kate leaned back against her chair. Where is the bane of my existence? In the shower, freshening up. Oh, God, who did Asciano screw now? No, no, he's covered in blood. Oh good. She sighed and stopped. The kid is covered in blood and we're relieved. There is something wrong with us.
Ilona Andrews
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I do shodo magic,” Dali said. “I curse through calligraphy. I have to write the curse out on a piece of paper and I can’t move while I do it. One smudge, and I might kill the lot of us.” Oh good. “But don’t worry.” Dali waved her arms. “It’s so precise, it usually doesn’t work at all.” Better and better.
Ilona Andrews
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I gave him my hard stare. “You're a control freak and I fight all authority. And you want us to mate?” A wicked spark lit his eyes. “Many, many times.
Ilona Andrews
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What did you write on here? ‘Don’t die’?” “No, I wrote, ‘Don’t be an asshole!’”I headed for the house. “On yours or mine?” “On yours.” “Well, in that case, your magic isn’t working. I’m still an asshole.
Ilona Andrews
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Our standard rate. A doubloon a day. It was generous. More than generous--some families would put him up for a week for a single coin. Half a doubloon a day, she said. No, you see, the idea behind bargaining is that you ask for a larger amount.
Ilona Andrews
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The decorator of Las Colimas must have been a great admirer of both early Aztec and late Taco Bell architectural styles.
Ilona Andrews
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Put your badass face on and follow me.
Ilona Andrews
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She handed him a glass of water and two Aleve gelcaps. “They’re anti-inflammatories. They will dull the pain a little bit and keep down swelling and redness. Swallow the pills, don’t chew.” “Well, I thought I’d stick them into my nose and impersonate a walrus, but if you insist, I’ll swallow them.
Ilona Andrews
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Isn’t that why you have that gun mounted on the front? Or is it for other reasons, because I would’ve thought that a man with your powers would be past the urge to compensate.” Barabas grinned. “I had forgotten that talking to you is like trying to pet a cactus,” Saiman said dryly. “Thank you for reminding me.” “Always happy to oblige.
Ilona Andrews
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Because you are the one. You are better than me in some things, and I am better than you in others...I don’t mind being a bit like you. I hope you don’t mind being a bit like me.
Ilona Andrews