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You should name him Fezzik. Inconceivable.

Ilona Andrews

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Ilona Andrews
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Inconceivable
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More quotes by Ilona Andrews

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You’re the most experienced investigator I’ve got who’s not tied up in something, and I can’t ask the Consort to look look into it, because A) she and Curran are working on something else and B) when the Consort gets involved, half of the world blows up.
Ilona Andrews
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I'm secure enough in myself to wear panties with bows on them. Besides, they are comfy and soft. I bet. He almost purred. I gulped.
Ilona Andrews
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Do you have spies in Clan Heavy?” “I have spies everywhere.” I looked at Andrea, who was hoarding bacon on her plate. “She had tea with Mahon’s wife.” Andrea said. Aunt B looked at her. “You and I need to work on your air of mystery.
Ilona Andrews
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The door swung open and Kate walked in. Her jeans and T-shirt were splattered with blood and she was carrying a severed vampire head. The T-shirt has a smiley face on it.
Ilona Andrews
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You're screening your calls? Why not? It saves me from conversations with idiots. Is that an insult? His voice dropped into a deep growl. You're not an idiot, I told him. You're just a deadly psychopath with a god complex.(...)
Ilona Andrews
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He said, 'Yeah, but will I get chicks? In truckloads?
Ilona Andrews
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…Something isn’t right with you and this property. Strange things happen around it. I don’t know what is going on, but I will find out. You could make it easier on yourself by coming clean.” “Sure. This is a magic bed-and-breakfast and the two guys in my kitchen are aliens from outerspace.
Ilona Andrews
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I'm sorry about the dinner. Best date ever. Well, until people died and vampires showed up. But before that it was awesome.
Ilona Andrews
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Other pirates leaped over the railing. One, two... seven... thirteen. A baker’s dozen. Wait, fifteen. Eighteen... Twenty-one. The odds weren’t in our favor. “Maybe they just came over to borrow a cup of sugar,” I said. Andrea barked a short laugh. Curran put his hand on my shoulder. “That’s a lot of sugar. Must be a big cake.
Ilona Andrews
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You know what I like about you? You have no sense. You sit here in my house, you can barely hold a spoon, and you're telling me 'no'. You'd pull on Death's whiskers if you could reach them.
Ilona Andrews
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Did I ever tell you that you are like sunshine in the middle of the night?
Ilona Andrews
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Did the Order return your sense of humor as part of the severance package?
Ilona Andrews
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Cute. I think I would prefer to be stabbed in the eye rather than be called cute.
Ilona Andrews
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You were joking about the whole please and thank you thing, right? Meant every word. A little light danced in his eyes and he very deliberately said, Baby. No. He laughed. You should see your face right now. Don't call me that. Would you prefer 'darling'? Or maybe 'cupcake'? He winked.
Ilona Andrews
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And men my prophet wail deride!
Ilona Andrews
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Was his body made out of orange rocks and did he at any point yell 'It's clobbering time'? I find your attempt at levity inappropriate. Consider me properly chastised.
Ilona Andrews
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Andrea raised her hand. “This is the hand that slapped Aunt B.” “Maybe you should have it gold-plated.” “Here, you can touch it, since you’re my best friend.
Ilona Andrews
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Rene looked at Grendel. “What in the world is that?” “That’s our mutant attack poodle,” I told her. “Is he chewing on a gun?
Ilona Andrews
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Ask a man how much a dollar is worth, and he'll tell you, 'Almost nothing.' Try to take a dollar away from him, and you'll get yourself a fight.
Ilona Andrews
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Beautiful I would never be. Striking, that I could manage.
Ilona Andrews