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Is that a lion with horns and a pitchfork? Yep. Is he carrying the moon on his pitchfork? Nope it's a pie.

Ilona Andrews

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Ilona Andrews
Nope
Pie
Horns
Lion
Carrying
Lions
Moon
Pitchfork
Pitchforks

More quotes by Ilona Andrews

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What happened to the alpha-wolf? LEGOs. Legos? It sounded Greek but I couldn't recall anything mythological with that name. Wasn't it an island? He was carrying a load of laundry into the basement and tripped on the old set of LEGOs his kids left on the stairs. Broke two ribs and an ankle.
Ilona Andrews
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Was his body made out of orange rocks and did he at any point yell 'It's clobbering time'? I find your attempt at levity inappropriate. Consider me properly chastised.
Ilona Andrews
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Now climb, young grasshopper, so your Kung Fu won't be weak.
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I'm secure enough in myself to wear panties with bows on them. Besides, they are comfy and soft. I bet. He almost purred. I gulped.
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What kind of shapeshifter has orange fur anyway? Weredingo. Now I'd seen everything. Well, at least he didn't steal my baby.
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Grandpa? Declan raised his eyebrows. We keep him in the shed out back, Jack said helpfully. So he doesn't eat dog brains.
Ilona Andrews
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People can snap. People have a limit. And some people are just plain nuts.
Ilona Andrews
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I was a knight, Andrea said. I'm not just going to start shooting every dickhead who mouths off to me. Just making sure. Besides, if I shot him, I'd do it so nobody could trace it back to me. I'd shoot him somewhere remote, his head would explode like a melon, and they would never find his body. He would just vanish.
Ilona Andrews
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Your ability to remain alive never ceases to amaze me.
Ilona Andrews
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Juke glanced into her cup before tipping it down to her mouth. Screw you! Now come on, sugar, you know I don't swing that way. Whatever!
Ilona Andrews
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You know, she said, stirring her tea, the fastest way to get him off your back is to sleep with him. And tell him you love him. Preferably while in bed. I smirked and the tea almost came out of my nose. He'd run like he was on fire.
Ilona Andrews
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Did I ever tell you that you are like sunshine in the middle of the night?
Ilona Andrews
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I dived for it, caught it three inches above the cement, and found myself face-to-face with the salamander. Ruby-red eyes regarded me with mild curiosity, black lips parted, and a long, spiderweb-thin filament of a tongue slithered from the salamander’s mouth and kissed the sphere’s glass in the reflection of my nose. Hi, I love you, too.
Ilona Andrews
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He lunged for the maps. I grabbed the chair and hit him with it. He went down. I hit him again to make sure he stayed that way, stepped over him, and picked up the maps. I win.
Ilona Andrews
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Please, Kate. Suspend your dislike of me for a few moments and listen to what I have to say. It makes sense. I don't dislike you. It's an oversimplification.
Ilona Andrews
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He stepped forward, took a deep breath, and doubled over in a sneezing fit. My werewolf was allergic to tortoises. Why me?
Ilona Andrews
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If he full-out flexed, I would probably faint, or jump off the building.
Ilona Andrews
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It took a qualified wizard to detect a summoning in progress. It required only a half-literate idiot with a twitch of power and a dim idea of how to use it to attempt one. Before you knew it, a three-headed Slavonic god was wreaking havoc in downtown Atlanta, the skies were raining winged snakes, and SWAT was screaming for more ammo.
Ilona Andrews
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...you expect me to fall on my back with my legs spread. Not necessarily. ... You can fall on your hands and knees if you prefer. Or against the wall. Or on the kitchen counter. I suppose I might let you be on top, if you make it worth my while.
Ilona Andrews
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Runes, runes, runes... Runes. An inverted Algiz rune. The caption next to it said “Chernobog.” The Black God. Right. Of course, it wouldn’t be Chernobog, God of Morning Dew on the Rose Petals, but a woman could always hope.
Ilona Andrews