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Is that a lion with horns and a pitchfork? Yep. Is he carrying the moon on his pitchfork? Nope it's a pie.

Ilona Andrews

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Ilona Andrews
Pie
Horns
Lion
Carrying
Lions
Moon
Pitchfork
Pitchforks
Nope

More quotes by Ilona Andrews

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What do you do to your hair? Dust, hair gel, and a little gun oil. Ever thought of patenting the recipe? No.
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The Order of Merciful Aid provided merciful aid, usually on the edge of a blade or the burn of a bullet.
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The Oracle rose. As one, the three witches bowed. See? Bran jerked his thumb at the three women. That's how a woman should treat a man. Next time you see me, I want you to do just like them.
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Your favorite volhv showed up half an hour ago, complaining about his lack of sleep and stupid gods. He says he brought his Batman belt.
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Settle down, Princess. It’s not my first time.
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You sure you don't need your Prince Charming to come and save you? The knot in my stomach evaporated. My Prince Charming huh. Sure, do you have one handy?
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Isn’t that why you have that gun mounted on the front? Or is it for other reasons, because I would’ve thought that a man with your powers would be past the urge to compensate.” Barabas grinned. “I had forgotten that talking to you is like trying to pet a cactus,” Saiman said dryly. “Thank you for reminding me.” “Always happy to oblige.
Ilona Andrews
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And men my prophet wail deride!
Ilona Andrews
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Two years? That's entirely too long. If you want, we can take care of that. After two years it's pure therapy.
Ilona Andrews
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Had records so stellar, they had to lock their resumes in a drawer at night, so the golden light streaming from the pages wouldn't keep them awake.
Ilona Andrews
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You know what I like about you? You have no sense. You sit here in my house, you can barely hold a spoon, and you're telling me 'no'. You'd pull on Death's whiskers if you could reach them.
Ilona Andrews
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I was a knight, Andrea said. I'm not just going to start shooting every dickhead who mouths off to me. Just making sure. Besides, if I shot him, I'd do it so nobody could trace it back to me. I'd shoot him somewhere remote, his head would explode like a melon, and they would never find his body. He would just vanish.
Ilona Andrews
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Other pirates leaped over the railing. One, two... seven... thirteen. A baker’s dozen. Wait, fifteen. Eighteen... Twenty-one. The odds weren’t in our favor. “Maybe they just came over to borrow a cup of sugar,” I said. Andrea barked a short laugh. Curran put his hand on my shoulder. “That’s a lot of sugar. Must be a big cake.
Ilona Andrews
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Bad days, good days, ‘I’ll cut you if you look at me the wrong way’ days. I’ll take them all.
Ilona Andrews
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It was his eyes. When you looked into them, you saw chained violence baring teeth and claws back at you.
Ilona Andrews
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Outside the windows the day was bright: golden sunshine, blue sky, pleasant wind . . . I wanted to punch the happy day in the face, grab it by the hair, and beat it until it told me what the hell it was so happy about.
Ilona Andrews
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I've never seen such a collection of idiots in my whole life.' Doolittle shook his head. 'If you participate in this lunacy, y'all will get yourselves killed. Then don't come crying to me.' Now that would be a neat trick.
Ilona Andrews
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You know, she said, stirring her tea, the fastest way to get him off your back is to sleep with him. And tell him you love him. Preferably while in bed. I smirked and the tea almost came out of my nose. He'd run like he was on fire.
Ilona Andrews
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You’re the most experienced investigator I’ve got who’s not tied up in something, and I can’t ask the Consort to look look into it, because A) she and Curran are working on something else and B) when the Consort gets involved, half of the world blows up.
Ilona Andrews
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Juke glanced into her cup before tipping it down to her mouth. Screw you! Now come on, sugar, you know I don't swing that way. Whatever!
Ilona Andrews