Quote

Is that a lion with horns and a pitchfork? Yep. Is he carrying the moon on his pitchfork? Nope it's a pie.

Ilona Andrews

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Ilona Andrews
Lions
Moon
Pitchfork
Pitchforks
Nope
Pie
Horns
Lion
Carrying

More quotes by Ilona Andrews

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Oh, it's you, Curran's voice said quietly. I thought it was an elephant.
Ilona Andrews
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Kid 1: *examining my gorgeous strawberry and blueberry pies*: Wow, Mom, your pies don’t look awful this time. Me (Ilona): ... ~A little later~ Kid 2: *wandering into the kitchen* Kid 1: Hey, you’ve got to see these pies. *opening the stove* Kid 2: Wow. They are not ugly this time. Kid 1: I know, right?
Ilona Andrews
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She could've stared into those eyes for a thousand years and never noticed the time passing by.
Ilona Andrews
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Had he expected me to hump her leg?
Ilona Andrews
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What kind of shapeshifter has orange fur anyway? Weredingo. Now I'd seen everything. Well, at least he didn't steal my baby.
Ilona Andrews
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There is no such thing as privacy between a deity and his worshipper. There are no secrets, no glossed-over failures. Only promises kept and abandoned, sins committed and imagined, and raw emotion. How many of us are ready to have our lives judged? What would happen if we were found wanting?
Ilona Andrews
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Aha! So I’m not crazy.” “You are most definitely crazy,” Derek said. “But in a deranged, endearing way.
Ilona Andrews
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Just so you know: if a rakshasa shows up, I left my sword in the car.
Ilona Andrews
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Were you watching me sleep? Because I thought we agreed that's creepy.
Ilona Andrews
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I make a bad mom, but I can pull off a crazy aunt.
Ilona Andrews
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I will devour you. I will lick your bones clean and crush them between my teeth. I will suck the marrow…” “That’s nice,” Kate said. “The shield.
Ilona Andrews
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I've never seen such a collection of idiots in my whole life.' Doolittle shook his head. 'If you participate in this lunacy, y'all will get yourselves killed. Then don't come crying to me.' Now that would be a neat trick.
Ilona Andrews
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In there?' She nodded. 'You want us to go into the tortoise?' Another nod. 'It's alive.' Another nod.
Ilona Andrews
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When I'm with him, I can feel myself getting better. It's like he's picking up broken pieces of me and putting me back together, and I don't even know he's doing it. We never talk about it. We don't go to therapy. He just loves me and that's enough.
Ilona Andrews
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Im's offspring stare at stars and make clocks that calculate useless happenings like the angle of a hawk's claws as it strikes its prey. They demonstrate their contraptions and everyone marvels. My children get drunk, confuse a herd of cows with an enemy regiment, and slaughter the lot, screaming like lunatics until the entire army panics.
Ilona Andrews
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I had to give it him, to flatter and insult a woman in one propostition took talent.
Ilona Andrews
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Yes I can,” Curran snarled. “Listen: this is me telling you what you will not do.” I raised the cookbook and tapped him on the nose. Bad cat.
Ilona Andrews
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The good doctor put a spoon of tea into my honey. You're drinking tea a honey badger made, Jim said. What did you expect?
Ilona Andrews
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I closed my eyes. “Are you okay?” “I’m tired. My knee is hurting again and I’m trying to teleport myself upstairs.” “Um, Kate, you can’t do that.” “I know. But I’m trying very hard. Let me know if I start fading?
Ilona Andrews
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You know what I like about you? You have no sense. You sit here in my house, you can barely hold a spoon, and you're telling me 'no'. You'd pull on Death's whiskers if you could reach them.
Ilona Andrews