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Just so you know: if a rakshasa shows up, I left my sword in the car.

Ilona Andrews

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Ilona Andrews
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More quotes by Ilona Andrews

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The Oracle rose. As one, the three witches bowed. See? Bran jerked his thumb at the three women. That's how a woman should treat a man. Next time you see me, I want you to do just like them.
Ilona Andrews
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Shifting in the hospital bed had blown her closet door wide open.
Ilona Andrews
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Oh, it's you, Curran's voice said quietly. I thought it was an elephant.
Ilona Andrews
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The kind of eyes that jumped from a woman's dreams right into her morning and made trouble in the marriage bed.
Ilona Andrews
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I dived for it, caught it three inches above the cement, and found myself face-to-face with the salamander. Ruby-red eyes regarded me with mild curiosity, black lips parted, and a long, spiderweb-thin filament of a tongue slithered from the salamander’s mouth and kissed the sphere’s glass in the reflection of my nose. Hi, I love you, too.
Ilona Andrews
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If you come, you better come in force because I will kill every single one of you. My hand won't shake, my aim won't falter. My face will be the last thing you'll see before you die. I jammed my knife into the table and walked out.
Ilona Andrews
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The Order of Merciful Aid provided merciful aid, usually on the edge of a blade or the burn of a bullet.
Ilona Andrews
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You should name him Fezzik. Inconceivable.
Ilona Andrews
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He said, 'Yeah, but will I get chicks? In truckloads?
Ilona Andrews
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Ted said, You're working for the Order now. Yes. How does it feel? Well, Doctor, it feels rather sore and tingly.
Ilona Andrews
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Cough clenched, and vomited something chunky into the grass. Terrific. The big dog sat on his haunches and looked at William with a perplexed expression on his face. Well, eat it back up, William hissed. Don't waste it. Cough gave a tiny whine. I'm not eating your puke. Cough panted at him. No.
Ilona Andrews
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Aha, Andrea said. I'm going to ignore that you just referred to yourself as 'sugar woogums'.
Ilona Andrews
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Bad days, good days, ‘I’ll cut you if you look at me the wrong way’ days. I’ll take them all.
Ilona Andrews
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Aha! So I’m not crazy.” “You are most definitely crazy,” Derek said. “But in a deranged, endearing way.
Ilona Andrews
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The dark scary servant of all evil was on his way to rescue me. Somehow that thought failed to make me warm and fuzzy.
Ilona Andrews
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You slept with Curran and you didn’t tell me? I’m your best friend.” “It didn’t come up.” “How disappointing for you.” Ha-ha. “That’s not what I meant.
Ilona Andrews
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I turned to leave and paused before the gap in the ruined wall. One last thing, Your Majesty. I'd like a name I can put into my report, something shorter than typing out 'The Leader of the Southern Shapechanger Faction.' What should I call you? Lord. I rolled my eyes. He shrugged. It's short.
Ilona Andrews
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I stopped the blade two inches before it touched Andrea’s neck. Because she was my best friend, and sticking knives into your best friend’s windpipe was generally considered to be a social faux pas.
Ilona Andrews
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For a second I thought I might actually be alive, I said, looking at Nick's unshaven face. Now I know- I've gone to Hell and you're my nursemaid.
Ilona Andrews
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George turned to her. His blue eyes widened. His lovely face took on a forlorn, deeply troubled expression. He leaned forwar, and, in a theatrical whisper, said, 'My past is tragic. I wouldn't want to burden you with it. It's a pain I must suffer alone. In the rain. In silence.
Ilona Andrews