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Just so you know: if a rakshasa shows up, I left my sword in the car.

Ilona Andrews

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Ilona Andrews
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More quotes by Ilona Andrews

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He stepped forward, took a deep breath, and doubled over in a sneezing fit. My werewolf was allergic to tortoises. Why me?
Ilona Andrews
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Settle down, Princess. It’s not my first time.
Ilona Andrews
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It was one of those idiotic things that could've been resolved in a split second. Tara had no right to touch Raphael, and once she did he had every right to punch her. She should've left it at that, and now she was dead because she didn't.
Ilona Andrews
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Strawberry Shortcake called, she wants her outfit back
Ilona Andrews
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Syphilis. Lots and lots of magically delicious Syphilis.
Ilona Andrews
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You don't cause problems. You cause catastrophes.
Ilona Andrews
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It's not your job to die for your Pack! It's your job to make the other bastards die for theirs.
Ilona Andrews
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What is wrong with you? Many, many things.
Ilona Andrews
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People can snap. People have a limit. And some people are just plain nuts.
Ilona Andrews
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« Are you hungry, baby?” Curran asked. “Starving.” “I think we should go to dinner.” “Great idea.” “What are you going to wear?” “My badass face.” “Good choice,” he said. »
Ilona Andrews
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You know what I like about you? You have no sense. You sit here in my house, you can barely hold a spoon, and you're telling me 'no'. You'd pull on Death's whiskers if you could reach them.
Ilona Andrews
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Aunt B walked out onto the helipad wearing loose yoga pants. “I’m just here to stretch. Kate, want to help?” “Sure.” Thirty seconds later, as I was flying through the air, I decided that this wasn’t the best idea.
Ilona Andrews
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You're screening your calls? Why not? It saves me from conversations with idiots. Is that an insult? His voice dropped into a deep growl. You're not an idiot, I told him. You're just a deadly psychopath with a god complex.(...)
Ilona Andrews
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In there?' She nodded. 'You want us to go into the tortoise?' Another nod. 'It's alive.' Another nod.
Ilona Andrews
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I glanced at Derek. The boy wonder didn't melt into a pile of goo, although his gaze was glued to Rowena's chest. Avoiding eye contact. Good strategy.
Ilona Andrews
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Perhaps I just wasn't scary enough. Maybe I should invest in some horns or fangs.
Ilona Andrews
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You know anything about investigative work? Sure. Annoy the people involved until the guilt party tries to make you go away.
Ilona Andrews
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You're an interesting woman. Your interest has been duly noted.
Ilona Andrews
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One day, she’d find a way to live her life to the fullest. She was sure of it. She just had no idea how she would manage it.
Ilona Andrews
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Just stay close to us. If we get in trouble, we'll kill everything.
Ilona Andrews