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I had an appointment with a sexual deviant and I didn’t want to be late.
Ilona Andrews
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Ilona Andrews
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More quotes by Ilona Andrews
The first magic wave kicked the world in the face.
Ilona Andrews
Would you care for something to drink?” “Is it poisoned?” “It’s Saturday,” I said. “We only serve poison during the week.
Ilona Andrews
Cats randomly refuse to follow orders to prove they can.
Ilona Andrews
You fellows ever thought of hiring out as a Christmas lights crew? You’d make a fortune.
Ilona Andrews
The door swung open and Kate walked in. Her jeans and T-shirt were splattered with blood and she was carrying a severed vampire head. The T-shirt has a smiley face on it.
Ilona Andrews
Who is there with you? Raphael Kate's voice snapped. I'll be in Atlanta in three hours. Where are you? I said it's nothing major. Bullshit. You wouldn't work with Raphael unless the Apocalypse was imminent and that was the only way to prevent it.
Ilona Andrews
Perhaps I just wasn't scary enough. Maybe I should invest in some horns or fangs.
Ilona Andrews
Runes, runes, runes... Runes. An inverted Algiz rune. The caption next to it said “Chernobog.” The Black God. Right. Of course, it wouldn’t be Chernobog, God of Morning Dew on the Rose Petals, but a woman could always hope.
Ilona Andrews
You know, she said, stirring her tea, the fastest way to get him off your back is to sleep with him. And tell him you love him. Preferably while in bed. I smirked and the tea almost came out of my nose. He'd run like he was on fire.
Ilona Andrews
« He squeezed his hands into fists. I picked up a grapefruit-sized rock and handed it to him. It went flying. Home run, Beast Lord style.
Ilona Andrews
Two years? That's entirely too long. If you want, we can take care of that. After two years it's pure therapy.
Ilona Andrews
Curran struck at my wrist. His fingers were cat-quick, but I had spent my life honing my reflexes, and he missed. “Well, look at that.” I studied my free wrist. “Denied. Good-bye
Ilona Andrews
Secret to what? Secret to shutting you up, he said. I just have to beat you till you're half-dead, then give you chicken soup and--he raised his hands--blessed silence.
Ilona Andrews
If you come back to me, I'll never leave you, I whispered into the furry ear. I'll make you all the pies you could ever eat.
Ilona Andrews
On a scale from one to ten, the Pack was eleven and everything else a one.
Ilona Andrews
Butterflies were small and light, and very magic sensitive. For some reason I made them feel safe and they gravitated to me like iron shavings to a magnet. They ruined my ferocious badass image, but you'd have to be a complete beast to swat butterflies.
Ilona Andrews
How is it that I could run into a gunfight against overwhelming odds and put myself between bullets and civilians, but I couldn't scrape together enough courage to speak to the one person who mattered the most to me?
Ilona Andrews
He gave an impression of coiled power, a contained violence that if released, would explode with terrifying intensity.
Ilona Andrews
...they tended towards the simple pleasures in life: drinking, whoring and fighting, preferably all three at once.
Ilona Andrews
Men and swords. My father said that if you put any able-bodied man, no matter how peaceful, into a room with a sword and a practice dummy and leave him alone, eventually the man would pick up the sword and try to stab the dummy. It is human nature.
Ilona Andrews