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I had an appointment with a sexual deviant and I didn’t want to be late.

Ilona Andrews

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Ilona Andrews
Appointments
Sexual
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Appointment

More quotes by Ilona Andrews

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You're not going to die? Not right this minute. And of course, saying something like that usually resulted in immediate dying. I braced myself for a stray meteorite falling through the roof to crush my skull.
Ilona Andrews
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How is it that I could run into a gunfight against overwhelming odds and put myself between bullets and civilians, but I couldn't scrape together enough courage to speak to the one person who mattered the most to me?
Ilona Andrews
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The first magic wave kicked the world in the face.
Ilona Andrews
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It took a qualified wizard to detect a summoning in progress. It required only a half-literate idiot with a twitch of power and a dim idea of how to use it to attempt one. Before you knew it, a three-headed Slavonic god was wreaking havoc in downtown Atlanta, the skies were raining winged snakes, and SWAT was screaming for more ammo.
Ilona Andrews
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« He squeezed his hands into fists. I picked up a grapefruit-sized rock and handed it to him. It went flying. Home run, Beast Lord style.
Ilona Andrews
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If I lose control, you'll be the first to know. I'm quite perturbed by the idea.
Ilona Andrews
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Settle down, Princess. It’s not my first time.
Ilona Andrews
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Were you watching me sleep? Because I thought we agreed that's creepy.
Ilona Andrews
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An evil spark flared in his eyes. Trade: raccoon for some answers.
Ilona Andrews
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Bad days, good days, ‘I’ll cut you if you look at me the wrong way’ days. I’ll take them all.
Ilona Andrews
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Every time I think you’ve reached the limits of arrogance, you show me new heights. Truly, your egotism is like the Universe—ever expanding.
Ilona Andrews
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Did the Order return your sense of humor as part of the severance package?
Ilona Andrews
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He raised his hand in a peaceful gesture. You need to relax a bit, dove. Like Mouse over there. You trust me, don't you, Mouse? Nope! Ahhh, I'm hurt. Nobody likes me.
Ilona Andrews
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What kind of shapeshifter has orange fur anyway? Weredingo. Now I'd seen everything. Well, at least he didn't steal my baby.
Ilona Andrews
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Secret to what? Secret to shutting you up, he said. I just have to beat you till you're half-dead, then give you chicken soup and--he raised his hands--blessed silence.
Ilona Andrews
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Judging by the hard lines of his face and the flat look in his eyes, he'd left the Marines, but the Corps hadn't quite left him.
Ilona Andrews
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Who is that?” “Your replacement.” “You replaced me with a shaved poodle?” “He's got mad skills.
Ilona Andrews
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I don't trust tragedies much. It's easy to make a person sad by showing him something tragic. We all recognize when sad things happen: someone dies, someone loses a loved one, young love is crushed. It's much harder to make a man laugh-what's funny to one person isn't funny to another.
Ilona Andrews
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« Barabas pulled Christopher out of the cage. The man stared up at him. “I died, didn’t I? Are you an angel?” “Sure,” Barabas said. “Follow me to the Heavenly Shower »
Ilona Andrews
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It's awful to be rich and mind-boggingly handsome and have women fawn over you. My heart bleeds for you. Poor dear, how do you manage?
Ilona Andrews