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I had an appointment with a sexual deviant and I didn’t want to be late.

Ilona Andrews

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Ilona Andrews
Late
Didn
Deviant
Deviants
Appointment
Appointments
Sexual

More quotes by Ilona Andrews

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He strained to say something else. I leaned toward him. He focused on me. “Rape,” he promised. “Many, many times. Until you bleed . . .” “I’m so flattered.
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Hold your horses. I'm coming.... From where I'm standing you're just breathing laboriously. The snow swam out of focus. Breathing hard. Are you coming or just breathing hard. You've got to get your one-liners straight.
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I took the jacket off, changed my T-shirt for a dark gray tank top, slipped on the tangle of the back sheath, and put the jacket on again. Thugs are us. Great. Just add a super-tight ponytail and loads of mascara, and I’d be ripe to play a supervillain’s evil mistress. Ve haf vays of making you gif us your DNA sample.
Ilona Andrews
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Juke glanced into her cup before tipping it down to her mouth. Screw you! Now come on, sugar, you know I don't swing that way. Whatever!
Ilona Andrews
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It was one of those idiotic things that could've been resolved in a split second. Tara had no right to touch Raphael, and once she did he had every right to punch her. She should've left it at that, and now she was dead because she didn't.
Ilona Andrews
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Everyone had a weakness. It was the law of nature that for each being there was a predator, or a disease, or a vulnerability built into their very core.
Ilona Andrews
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Crazy Curran ranked right up there with monsoons, tornadoes, earthquakes, and other natural disasters.
Ilona Andrews
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Cajun stomp? You heard me, swamper. And keep your hands to yourself.
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I would not leave you. I'll be there. Wherever you want 'there' to be.
Ilona Andrews
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Cute. I think I would prefer to be stabbed in the eye rather than be called cute.
Ilona Andrews
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You should name him Fezzik. Inconceivable.
Ilona Andrews
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How was I supposed to know that you let two little bears hurt you, Goldilocks? Ah, yes, that mouth. I missed it. All mine now.
Ilona Andrews
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I don't trust tragedies much. It's easy to make a person sad by showing him something tragic. We all recognize when sad things happen: someone dies, someone loses a loved one, young love is crushed. It's much harder to make a man laugh-what's funny to one person isn't funny to another.
Ilona Andrews
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If you don't explain it all to me, I might strangle somebody. Of course, Raphael might like that.
Ilona Andrews
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I'm going to kick you in the head when I get home. Repeatedly.
Ilona Andrews
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Just so you know: if a rakshasa shows up, I left my sword in the car.
Ilona Andrews
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You know, she said, stirring her tea, the fastest way to get him off your back is to sleep with him. And tell him you love him. Preferably while in bed. I smirked and the tea almost came out of my nose. He'd run like he was on fire.
Ilona Andrews
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The Oracle rose. As one, the three witches bowed. See? Bran jerked his thumb at the three women. That's how a woman should treat a man. Next time you see me, I want you to do just like them.
Ilona Andrews
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In there?' She nodded. 'You want us to go into the tortoise?' Another nod. 'It's alive.' Another nod.
Ilona Andrews
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He raised his hand in a peaceful gesture. You need to relax a bit, dove. Like Mouse over there. You trust me, don't you, Mouse? Nope! Ahhh, I'm hurt. Nobody likes me.
Ilona Andrews