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Men and swords. My father said that if you put any able-bodied man, no matter how peaceful, into a room with a sword and a practice dummy and leave him alone, eventually the man would pick up the sword and try to stab the dummy. It is human nature.

Ilona Andrews

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Ilona Andrews
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More quotes by Ilona Andrews

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Who is there with you? Raphael Kate's voice snapped. I'll be in Atlanta in three hours. Where are you? I said it's nothing major. Bullshit. You wouldn't work with Raphael unless the Apocalypse was imminent and that was the only way to prevent it.
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Now climb, young grasshopper, so your Kung Fu won't be weak.
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The Order of Merciful Aid provided merciful aid, usually on the edge of a blade or the burn of a bullet.
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You know, she said, stirring her tea, the fastest way to get him off your back is to sleep with him. And tell him you love him. Preferably while in bed. I smirked and the tea almost came out of my nose. He'd run like he was on fire.
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You're screening your calls? Why not? It saves me from conversations with idiots. Is that an insult? His voice dropped into a deep growl. You're not an idiot, I told him. You're just a deadly psychopath with a god complex.(...)
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Two years? That's entirely too long. If you want, we can take care of that. After two years it's pure therapy.
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He strained to say something else. I leaned toward him. He focused on me. “Rape,” he promised. “Many, many times. Until you bleed . . .” “I’m so flattered.
Ilona Andrews
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Andrea: ....I think a dog is a great idea. I just never pictured you with a mutant poodle.” Kate: “He isn’t a poodle. He’s a Doberman mix. Andrea: “Aha. Keep telling yourself that.
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What is wrong with you? Many, many things.
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I've never seen such a collection of idiots in my whole life.' Doolittle shook his head. 'If you participate in this lunacy, y'all will get yourselves killed. Then don't come crying to me.' Now that would be a neat trick.
Ilona Andrews
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An evil spark flared in his eyes. Trade: raccoon for some answers.
Ilona Andrews
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…Something isn’t right with you and this property. Strange things happen around it. I don’t know what is going on, but I will find out. You could make it easier on yourself by coming clean.” “Sure. This is a magic bed-and-breakfast and the two guys in my kitchen are aliens from outerspace.
Ilona Andrews
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Technically, the dance worked best when done naked, but I didn't feel like prancing in the nude into Morrigan Hound's arms. I'm sure he'd be thrilled to see me.
Ilona Andrews
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Curran is the Beast Lord. Tremble.
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Is there anything else you need to tell me?” Every time I look at you, I have to put a leash on myself. “No.
Ilona Andrews
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Cough clenched, and vomited something chunky into the grass. Terrific. The big dog sat on his haunches and looked at William with a perplexed expression on his face. Well, eat it back up, William hissed. Don't waste it. Cough gave a tiny whine. I'm not eating your puke. Cough panted at him. No.
Ilona Andrews
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Rene looked at Grendel. “What in the world is that?” “That’s our mutant attack poodle,” I told her. “Is he chewing on a gun?
Ilona Andrews
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You were joking about the whole please and thank you thing, right? Meant every word. A little light danced in his eyes and he very deliberately said, Baby. No. He laughed. You should see your face right now. Don't call me that. Would you prefer 'darling'? Or maybe 'cupcake'? He winked.
Ilona Andrews
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He lunged for the maps. I grabbed the chair and hit him with it. He went down. I hit him again to make sure he stayed that way, stepped over him, and picked up the maps. I win.
Ilona Andrews
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Was his body made out of orange rocks and did he at any point yell 'It's clobbering time'? I find your attempt at levity inappropriate. Consider me properly chastised.
Ilona Andrews