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I make a bad mom, but I can pull off a crazy aunt.

Ilona Andrews

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Ilona Andrews
Aunt
Pull
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More quotes by Ilona Andrews

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« He squeezed his hands into fists. I picked up a grapefruit-sized rock and handed it to him. It went flying. Home run, Beast Lord style.
Ilona Andrews
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I glanced at Derek. The boy wonder didn't melt into a pile of goo, although his gaze was glued to Rowena's chest. Avoiding eye contact. Good strategy.
Ilona Andrews
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A girl half my age swept by and slammed two giant tankard filled with beer on the table. Ragnvald held his up. I smashed my tankard against his. Beer splashed. We raised the tankard and pretended to take much bigger gulps than we did.
Ilona Andrews
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Since we’re playing that game… I tilted my face up to his and gave him a lovesick gaze. “Do you have to sneeze?” he asked. “Be quiet. I’m pretending to enjoy your company, just as you said.” “Try not to strain anything.” “Oh, I won’t. I’m very good at faking it.” That shut him up.
Ilona Andrews
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Curran scrutinized Mart’s face. “I can’t figure out if he wants to kill you or screw you.” “I’ll be glad to make the choice for him.” Curran looked back at me. “Why is it you always attract creeps?” “You tell me.” Ha! Walked right into that one, yes, he did.
Ilona Andrews
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Would you care for something to drink?” “Is it poisoned?” “It’s Saturday,” I said. “We only serve poison during the week.
Ilona Andrews
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I'm going to kick you in the head when I get home. Repeatedly.
Ilona Andrews
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Beautiful I would never be. Striking, that I could manage.
Ilona Andrews
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You sure you don't need your Prince Charming to come and save you? The knot in my stomach evaporated. My Prince Charming huh. Sure, do you have one handy?
Ilona Andrews
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I've never created a riot before. I did cause a brawl at the last formal. A large number of young women there actually arrived with the expectation of seducing me into matrimony, and a couple of their mothers came to blows. It was hilari—I mean, dreadful. Simply dreadful.
Ilona Andrews
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Who is that?” “Your replacement.” “You replaced me with a shaved poodle?” “He's got mad skills.
Ilona Andrews
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The human body is an amazing organism. It can go from dead tired to completely alert in a terrified blink.
Ilona Andrews
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The lion has to stay outside He won't like it The lion shook his mane. I looked at Curran. The lion melted. Skin stretched, bones twisted, and human Curran straightened. He was completely nude. Gloriously nude. Well, Hrefna said. I always wondered why you went all shapeshifter. Explain things.
Ilona Andrews
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Do you have spies in Clan Heavy?” “I have spies everywhere.” I looked at Andrea, who was hoarding bacon on her plate. “She had tea with Mahon’s wife.” Andrea said. Aunt B looked at her. “You and I need to work on your air of mystery.
Ilona Andrews
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Curran grinned and my heart made a little jump. I didn’t expect that. “That’s it? That’s your witty comeback?” “Yep.” Eloquence ’R’ Us. When in trouble, keep it monosyllabic—safer that way.
Ilona Andrews
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I turned and bumped by head against his chest a few times. It was the nearest hard surface.
Ilona Andrews
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He groaned and I saw his face. Curran! I would've preferred a homicidal lunatic. Oh, wait...
Ilona Andrews
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Roland had sworn off children—they kept trying to kill him.
Ilona Andrews
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Is there anything else you need to tell me?” Every time I look at you, I have to put a leash on myself. “No.
Ilona Andrews
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He kissed me, and I pulled my personal psycho into bed with me.
Ilona Andrews