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You don't cause problems. You cause catastrophes.

Ilona Andrews

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Ilona Andrews
Catastrophes
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More quotes by Ilona Andrews

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The dark scary servant of all evil was on his way to rescue me. Somehow that thought failed to make me warm and fuzzy.
Ilona Andrews
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May I say that I am delighted that my favorite alpha is feeling better. Why, you'll be running recklessly into danger against overwhelming odds anytime now.
Ilona Andrews
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Rene looked at Grendel. “What in the world is that?” “That’s our mutant attack poodle,” I told her. “Is he chewing on a gun?
Ilona Andrews
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What would I do without the moral compass of a teenage werewolf.
Ilona Andrews
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Still think she is worth it?” Mahon asked quietly. “Of course. She is my mate.” Mahon sighed. “So you decided then.” “Do you think we’d be laying here bleeding in the snow if I wasn’t sure?” “Good point.
Ilona Andrews
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Ted said, You're working for the Order now. Yes. How does it feel? Well, Doctor, it feels rather sore and tingly.
Ilona Andrews
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Was his body made out of orange rocks and did he at any point yell 'It's clobbering time'? I find your attempt at levity inappropriate. Consider me properly chastised.
Ilona Andrews
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Oh, it's you, Curran's voice said quietly. I thought it was an elephant.
Ilona Andrews
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Do you have spies in Clan Heavy?” “I have spies everywhere.” I looked at Andrea, who was hoarding bacon on her plate. “She had tea with Mahon’s wife.” Andrea said. Aunt B looked at her. “You and I need to work on your air of mystery.
Ilona Andrews
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You’re touching me,” I chided him. He caressed my back, sliding his hand down, hitting every sensitive point I hadn’t even known I had. “No, this is touching you. That was just accidental contact.” “Oh? Good to know. If you touch me again and I break your arm off, you can be sure it will be completely accidental.
Ilona Andrews
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Settle down, Princess. It’s not my first time.
Ilona Andrews
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Curran gave me a flat look. I can always drive to a burger joint instead. Oh, so you'd throw a burger down my throat and expect making out in the back seat? He grinned. We can do it in the front seat instead, if you prefer. Or on the hood of the car. I'm not doing it on the hood of the car. Is that a dare? Why me?
Ilona Andrews
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... That would be like stepping in front of a moving train and saying, 'Hey, honey, come stand next to me.' I hopped off the wall and stood next to him. Anytime. He just looked at me. I've never killed a train before. It might be fun to try.
Ilona Andrews
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I've never created a riot before. I did cause a brawl at the last formal. A large number of young women there actually arrived with the expectation of seducing me into matrimony, and a couple of their mothers came to blows. It was hilari—I mean, dreadful. Simply dreadful.
Ilona Andrews
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I had to give it him, to flatter and insult a woman in one propostition took talent.
Ilona Andrews
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Im's offspring stare at stars and make clocks that calculate useless happenings like the angle of a hawk's claws as it strikes its prey. They demonstrate their contraptions and everyone marvels. My children get drunk, confuse a herd of cows with an enemy regiment, and slaughter the lot, screaming like lunatics until the entire army panics.
Ilona Andrews
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Ask a man how much a dollar is worth, and he'll tell you, 'Almost nothing.' Try to take a dollar away from him, and you'll get yourself a fight.
Ilona Andrews
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There was something very comforting about him, and I was not sure if it was his easy manner or his complete immunity to my scowling.
Ilona Andrews
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Bad days, good days, ‘I’ll cut you if you look at me the wrong way’ days. I’ll take them all.
Ilona Andrews
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Grandpa? Declan raised his eyebrows. We keep him in the shed out back, Jack said helpfully. So he doesn't eat dog brains.
Ilona Andrews