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Now climb, young grasshopper, so your Kung Fu won't be weak.

Ilona Andrews

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Ilona Andrews
Climb
Climbs
Weak
Young
Grasshopper
Grasshoppers
Kung

More quotes by Ilona Andrews

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Did I ever tell you that you are like sunshine in the middle of the night?
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I'm secure enough in myself to wear panties with bows on them. Besides, they are comfy and soft. I bet. He almost purred. I gulped.
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Who is that?” “Your replacement.” “You replaced me with a shaved poodle?” “He's got mad skills.
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Only poor people are weird. Rich people are eccentric.
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Secret to what? Secret to shutting you up, he said. I just have to beat you till you're half-dead, then give you chicken soup and--he raised his hands--blessed silence.
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She could've stared into those eyes for a thousand years and never noticed the time passing by.
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Outside the windows the day was bright: golden sunshine, blue sky, pleasant wind . . . I wanted to punch the happy day in the face, grab it by the hair, and beat it until it told me what the hell it was so happy about.
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Is that a lion with horns and a pitchfork? Yep. Is he carrying the moon on his pitchfork? Nope it's a pie.
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Vampires smiled for many reasons, but when a vampire male smiled at you from this distance with that kind of look in his eyes it was done for one purpose only: to impress. Look at my big teeth. I’m an apex predator. My genetic material is awesome.
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She had wailed loudly enough to wake the dead and make them call the cops.
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On the plus side, if he ever had to fight through a roomful of adolescent girls, he only needed to blink (his velvet brown eyes framed in embarassingly long lashes) a few times, and they would all faint.
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Im's offspring stare at stars and make clocks that calculate useless happenings like the angle of a hawk's claws as it strikes its prey. They demonstrate their contraptions and everyone marvels. My children get drunk, confuse a herd of cows with an enemy regiment, and slaughter the lot, screaming like lunatics until the entire army panics.
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I chuckled to myself and kept walking. The Universe had proven Curran wrong: a person who aggravated him more than me did, in fact, exist.
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Settle down, Princess. It’s not my first time.
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Yes I can,” Curran snarled. “Listen: this is me telling you what you will not do.” I raised the cookbook and tapped him on the nose. Bad cat.
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I just had to stay cool. Zen. No punching in the face. Punching would not be Zen.
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In diplomacy, like in great many other things, the rules of engagement survive only until one remarkable person decides to break them.
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At the door, Audrey called, Are you coming? No, just breathing hard, love. He glanced at her and was rewarded by an outraged glare, followed by, Oh, my God!
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Where is Arland? Rapunzel decided to walk around in the woods to get 'the feel of the battleground.' He won't leave the grounds and he promises to defend the inn with 'all the strength in his body.' I told him if he gets in trouble, he should try singing prettily so his woodland friends will come to the rescue. I don't think he got it.
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I was a knight, Andrea said. I'm not just going to start shooting every dickhead who mouths off to me. Just making sure. Besides, if I shot him, I'd do it so nobody could trace it back to me. I'd shoot him somewhere remote, his head would explode like a melon, and they would never find his body. He would just vanish.
Ilona Andrews