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What I usually do is tell funny stories from the road, many of which are, of course, unprintable. But I don't actually have a joke. I don't tell jokes much. I tell little stories.

Howard Dean

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Howard Dean
Age: 75
Born: 1948
Born: November 17
Former Governor Of Vermont
Physician
Politician
Stockbroker
East Hampton
New York
Howard Brush Dean III
Actually
Funny
Tell
Joke
Stories
Jokes
Littles
Road
Little
Usually
Many
Courses
Much
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More quotes by Howard Dean

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And people in America are very practical people across the political spectrum. Very conservative women want their kids, their daughters taking birth control.
Howard Dean
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Most Christmas carols have no obvious religious content, or at least that's noticeable to most people. I mean, it is almost by definition, a cultural phenomenon, all these songs, even though they point to this very religious holiday. They're not religious songs in effect anymore.
Howard Dean
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Look, I'm not a perfect person. I have my warts. I sometimes say things that get me in trouble. I wear suits that are cheap. But I say what I think and I believe what I say, and I'm willing to say things that are not popular but ordinary people know are right.
Howard Dean
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Prison is an important part of life. We can't have violent people running around in the streets. (3 out of 4 federal prisoners are serving time for non-violent crimes.) Most competent and qualified kindergarden teachers can tell you who the 5 kids are in his or her class likely to wind up in prison 15 - 20 years from now.
Howard Dean
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I don't hate Republicans as individuals. But I hate what the Republicans are doing to this country. I really do.
Howard Dean
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When you - when you - and this is still going on today - are making your money by pushing paper around, when you should be making your money by investing venture capital in various job-creating things, that makes it much harder to recover.
Howard Dean
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I don't mind being called a liberal. I just don't really think it's true.
Howard Dean
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I have never favored a Social Security retirement age of 70 nor do I favor one of 68.
Howard Dean
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Not only are we going to New Hampshire ... we're going to South Carolina and Oklahoma and Arizona and North Dakota and New Mexico, and we're going to California and Texas and New York! And we're going to South Dakota and Oregon and Washington and Michigan. And then we're going to Washington, D.C. to take back the White House, Yeeeeeaaaaaargh!
Howard Dean
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The corporatization of the press really has hurt the press.
Howard Dean
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Barry Goldwater once said, I'd rather be right than president. I can't tell you how much I disagree with that Barry Goldwater.
Howard Dean
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The Republicans are all about suppressing votes.
Howard Dean
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The French will always do exactly the opposite on what the United States wants regardless of what happens, so we're never going to have a consistent policy.
Howard Dean
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I think we had quite enough capitalism in the last eight years I think we need some regulation now.
Howard Dean
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I talked for a long time about that, what I call the hate wing of the Republican Party.And often been criticized for saying it. But there is such a thing, and it started in 1968 with the southern strategy developed by Richard Nixon to bring southern racists out of the Democratic Party and into the Republican Party, which they succeeded in doing.
Howard Dean
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We have to say what we believe... whether it's popular or not.
Howard Dean
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Hypocrisy is a value that I think has been embraced by the Republican Party. We get lectured by people all day long about moral values by people who have their own moral shortcomings.
Howard Dean
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I'm not against the Hanukkah songs. I like Hanukkah songs. I grew up with Hanukkah songs. I'm not opposed to Hanukkah or the songs that accompany it, at all.
Howard Dean
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The fact that the president was willing to reveal classified information for political gain and put the interests of his political party ahead of America's security shows that he can no longer be trusted to keep America safe.
Howard Dean
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I think the recovery hasn't been stronger because the hole that was dug for President Obama by the Bush administration was far worse than anybody could imagine, first of all.
Howard Dean