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And here, I believe, the wit is generally misunderstood. In reality, it lies in desiring another to kiss your a-- for having just before threatened to kick his for I have observed very accurately, that no one ever desires you to kick that which belongs to himself, nor offers to kiss this part in another.

Henry Fielding

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Henry Fielding
Age: 47 †
Born: 1707
Born: April 22
Died: 1754
Died: October 8
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As a great part of the uneasiness of matrimony arises from mere trifles,, it would be wise in every young married man to enter into an agreement with his wife, that in all disputes of this kind the party who was most convinced they were right should always surrender the victory. By which means both would be more forward to give up the cause.
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We must eat to live, and not live to eat.
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I describe not men, but manners not an individual, but a species.
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To the composition of novels and romances, nothing is necessary but paper, pens, and ink, with the manual capacity of using them.
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To the generality of men you cannot give a stronger hint for them to impose upon you than by imposing upon yourself.
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Let no man be sorry he has done good, because others have done evil.
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An author ought to consider himself, not as a gentleman who gives a private or eleemosynary treat, but rather as one who keeps a public ordinary, at which all persons are welcome for their money.
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Dancing begets warmth, which is the parent of wantonness. It is, Sir, the great grandfather of cuckoldom.
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Fashion is the science of appearance, and it inspires one with the desire to seem rather than to be.
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Sensuality not only debases both body and mind, but dulls the keen edge of pleasure.
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Some general officers should pay a stricter regard to truth than to call the depopulating other countries the service of their own.
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There is no zeal blinder than that which is inspired with a love of justice against offenders.
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He that dies before sixty, of a cold or consumption, dies, in reality, by a violent death.
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Love and scandal are the best sweeteners of tea.
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The life of a coquette is one constant lie and the only rule by which you can form any correct judgment of them is that they are never what they seem.
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With the latitude of unbounded scurrility, it is easy enough to attain the character of a wit, especially when it is considered how wonderfully pleasant it is to the generality of the public to see the folly of their acquaintance exposed by a third person.
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What's vice today may be virtue, tomorrow.
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It is a trite but true Observation, that Examples work more forcibly on the Mind than Precepts: and if this be just in what is odious and blameable, it is more strongly so in what is amiable and praiseworthy.
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Wicked companions invite us to hell.
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Domestic happiness is the end of almost all our pursuits, and the common reward of all our pains. When men find themselves forever barred from this delightful fruition, they are lost to all industry, and grow careless of all their worldly affairs. Thus they become bad subjects, bad relations, bad friends, and bad men.
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