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And here, I believe, the wit is generally misunderstood. In reality, it lies in desiring another to kiss your a-- for having just before threatened to kick his for I have observed very accurately, that no one ever desires you to kick that which belongs to himself, nor offers to kiss this part in another.

Henry Fielding

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Henry Fielding
Age: 47 †
Born: 1707
Born: April 22
Died: 1754
Died: October 8
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To the generality of men you cannot give a stronger hint for them to impose upon you than by imposing upon yourself.
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The highest friendship must always lead us to the highest pleasure.
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Guilt has very quick ears to an accusation.
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Perhaps the summary of good-breeding may be reduced to this rule. Behave unto all men as you would they should behave unto you. This will most certainly oblige us to treat all mankind with the utmost civility and respect, there being nothing that we desire more than to be treated so by them.
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However exquisitely human nature may have been described by writers, the true practical system can be learned only in the world.
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Guilt, on the contrary, like a base thief, suspects every eye that beholds him to be privy to his transgressions, and every tongue that mentions his name to be proclaiming them.
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When I mention religion I mean the Christian religion and not only the Christian religion, but the Protestant religion and not only the Protestant religion, but the Church of England.
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Every physician almost hath his favourite disease.
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There is no zeal blinder than that which is inspired with a love of justice against offenders.
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Men who pay for what they eat will insist on gratifying their palates
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He that dies before sixty, of a cold or consumption, dies, in reality, by a violent death.
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Dancing begets warmth, which is the parent of wantonness. It is, Sir, the great grandfather of cuckoldom.
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Money will say more in one moment than the most eloquent lover can in years.
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Good-humor will even go so far as often to supply the lack of wit.
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No acquisitions of guilt can compensate the loss of that solid inward comfort of mind, which is the sure companion of innocence and virtue nor can in the least balance the evil of that horror and anxiety which, in their room, guilt introduces into our bosoms.
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A rich man without charity is a rogue and perhaps it would be no difficult matter to prove that he is also a fool.
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A man may go to heaven with half the pains it cost him to purchase hell.
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He grew weary of this condescension, and began to treat the opinions of his wife with that haughtiuess and insolence, which none but those who deserve some contempt themselves can bestow, and those only who deserve no contempt can bear.
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A lottery is a taxation on all of the fools in creation.
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LOVE: A word properly applied to our delight in particular kinds of food sometimes metaphorically spoken of the favorite objects of all our appetites.
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