Quote

It’s scary to realize that the only thing holding our friends to us isn’t our performance, or our lovability, or their guilt, or their obligation. The only thing that will keep them calling, spending time with us, and putting up with us is love. And that’s the one thing we can’t control.

Henry Cloud

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Henry Cloud
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: March 17
Preacher
Psychologist
Vicksburg
Mississippi
Realizing
Obligation
Control
Guilt
Friends
Scary
Keep
Performances
Thing
Putting
Time
Spending
Love
Calling
Holding
Realize
Performance

More quotes by Henry Cloud

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That is why success and fruitfulness depend as much upon focusing on the who you are as much as the what of the work you do. Invest in your character, and it will give you the returns that you are looking for by only investing in the work itself. You can't do the latter without the former.
Henry Cloud
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If you continue to blame other people for “making” you feel guilty, they still have power over you, and you are saying that you will only feel good when they stop doing that. You are giving them control over your life. Stop blaming other people.
Henry Cloud
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Spouses in healthy relationships cherish each other's space and are champions of each other's causes.
Henry Cloud
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Endings are a part of life, and we are actually wired to execute them. But because of trauma, developmental failures, and other reasons, we shy away from the steps that could open up whole new worlds of development and growth.
Henry Cloud
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Christianity is not about morality. It's about reality.
Henry Cloud
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Dating is a place to practice how to relate to other people.
Henry Cloud
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There's no better way to become a disintegrated character than to be your own authority.
Henry Cloud
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When truth presents itself, the wise person see the light, takes it in, and makes adjustments. The fool tries to adjust the truth so he does not have to adjust to it.
Henry Cloud
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Everything has seasons, and we have to be able to recognize when something's time has passed and be able to move into the next season. Everything that is alive requires pruning as well, which is a great metaphor for endings.
Henry Cloud
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The business of church is ultimately people. You're trying to heal people, grow people, teach people, and mend people. And when leaders spend all of their time helping and growing other people, they ignore their own growth.
Henry Cloud
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Leadership is not taken, it is given. People give leadership to those that they trust. They allow people that they trust to have influence over their lives.
Henry Cloud
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Anger is frustration at the fact that we are not God, and do not have control over reality.
Henry Cloud
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Boundaries are basically about providing structure, and structure is essential in building anything that thrives.
Henry Cloud
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If you want to become healthy, you have to surround yourself with a group of people that are getting healthy and you have to be connected to a community that is doing what you want to do.
Henry Cloud
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We change our behavior when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing. Consequences give us the pain that motivates us to change.
Henry Cloud
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People tend to look at dating sort of like a safari - like they're trying to land the trophy.
Henry Cloud
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If people are really narcissistic or have a need to be seen as more than they really are, or to be admired as having it all together, then they cannot be followed and trusted by others.
Henry Cloud
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It is true that you get what you tolerate.
Henry Cloud
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The sad thing is that many of us come to Christ because we are sinners, and then spend the rest of our lives trying to pretend that we are not!
Henry Cloud
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If you are building a culture where honest expectations are communicated and peer accountability is the norm, then the group will address poor performance and attitudes.
Henry Cloud