Quote

It’s scary to realize that the only thing holding our friends to us isn’t our performance, or our lovability, or their guilt, or their obligation. The only thing that will keep them calling, spending time with us, and putting up with us is love. And that’s the one thing we can’t control.

Henry Cloud

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Henry Cloud
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: March 17
Preacher
Psychologist
Vicksburg
Mississippi
Time
Spending
Love
Calling
Holding
Realize
Performance
Realizing
Obligation
Control
Guilt
Friends
Scary
Keep
Performances
Thing
Putting

More quotes by Henry Cloud

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True intimacy is only build around the freedom to disagree.
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Dating is primarily a numbers game.... People usually go through a lot of people to find good relationships. That's just the way it is.
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The physicality of a real relationship - one that encompasses mind, body and soul - ultimately makes it more fulfilling and powerful than any virtual relationship ever could be.
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Marriage is not slavery. It is based on a love relationship deeply rooted in freedom. Each partner is free from the other and therefore free to love the other. Where there is control, or perception of control, there is not love. Love only exists where there is freedom.
Henry Cloud
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If you continue to blame other people for “making” you feel guilty, they still have power over you, and you are saying that you will only feel good when they stop doing that. You are giving them control over your life. Stop blaming other people.
Henry Cloud
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Because dating is a human exercise, it can be a tightrope fraught with danger. You will be dating imperfect people, and some of them are more imperfect than others. In addition, you are not perfect either, so that complicates the picture.
Henry Cloud
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Faith goes beyond reason. It goes beyond what you can see. But it is as real as anything you can touch or feel.
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The mature person meets the demands of life, while the immature person demands that life meet her demands.
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To get greater than 100% return on a growth step, give up defensiveness. Defensiveness stifles performance, and destroys relationships.
Henry Cloud
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That is why success and fruitfulness depend as much upon focusing on the who you are as much as the what of the work you do. Invest in your character, and it will give you the returns that you are looking for by only investing in the work itself. You can't do the latter without the former.
Henry Cloud
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The fool tries to adjust the truth so he does not have to adjust to it.
Henry Cloud
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The business of church is ultimately people. You're trying to heal people, grow people, teach people, and mend people. And when leaders spend all of their time helping and growing other people, they ignore their own growth.
Henry Cloud
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Christianity is not about morality. It's about reality.
Henry Cloud
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We need rest not just so we feel better. We need rest for actual creation of what we're going to need the next day.
Henry Cloud
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If you are building a culture where honest expectations are communicated and peer accountability is the norm, then the group will address poor performance and attitudes.
Henry Cloud
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He is the Truth, and He wants us to deal in truth with ourselves and our loved ones. We want the truth about you and your family to flood into and overrun the secrets that keep you in bondage to dysfunctional behavior and relationships
Henry Cloud
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If people are really narcissistic or have a need to be seen as more than they really are, or to be admired as having it all together, then they cannot be followed and trusted by others.
Henry Cloud
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Training moments occur when both parents and children do their jobs. The parent's job is to make the rule. The child's job is to break the rule. The parent then corrects and disciplines. The child breaks the rule again, and the parent manages the consequences and empathy that then turn the rule into reality and internal structure for the child.
Henry Cloud
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Some goals are not going to fulfill you. Choose goals that you value and care about.
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It is true that you get what you tolerate.
Henry Cloud