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Consequences give us the pain that motivates us to change.

Henry Cloud

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Henry Cloud
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: March 17
Preacher
Psychologist
Vicksburg
Mississippi
Consequence
Pain
Change
Give
Giving
Motivates
Consequences

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You have to be able to face losing some things you might want in order to be free to do the right thing.
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The amount of truth a relationship can handle is proportional to the amount of perceived love that's present.
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Dating is a place to practice how to relate to other people.
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It is true that you get what you tolerate.
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Endings are a part of life, and we are actually wired to execute them. But because of trauma, developmental failures, and other reasons, we shy away from the steps that could open up whole new worlds of development and growth.
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If people are really narcissistic or have a need to be seen as more than they really are, or to be admired as having it all together, then they cannot be followed and trusted by others.
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Spouses in healthy relationships cherish each other's space and are champions of each other's causes.
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A good test of a relationship is how a person responds to the word 'no.' Love respects 'no,' control does not.
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Good pain is pain in the service of a purpose. Bad pain is pain endured because we are resisting a needed growth step.
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There's no better way to become a disintegrated character than to be your own authority.
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For someone's character to grow, it has to be free from internal attack. Falling down never stopped children from developing. But getting yelled at, criticized, and put down can stop them for life.
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Everything has seasons, and we have to be able to recognize when something's time has passed and be able to move into the next season. Everything that is alive requires pruning as well, which is a great metaphor for endings.
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We need rest not just so we feel better. We need rest for actual creation of what we're going to need the next day.
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Encourage literally came from in courage. The courage is put into you from outside. Our character and abilities grow through internalizing from others what we do not possess in ourselves.
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The physicality of a real relationship - one that encompasses mind, body and soul - ultimately makes it more fulfilling and powerful than any virtual relationship ever could be.
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Marriage is not slavery. It is based on a love relationship deeply rooted in freedom. Each partner is free from the other and therefore free to love the other. Where there is control, or perception of control, there is not love. Love only exists where there is freedom.
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Leave your pride, ego, and narcissism somewhere else. Reactions from those parts of you will reinforce your children's most primitive fears.
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When truth presents itself, the wise person see the light, takes it in, and makes adjustments. The fool tries to adjust the truth so he does not have to adjust to it.
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When leaders lead in ways that people's brains can follow, good results follow as well.
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If you are building a culture where honest expectations are communicated and peer accountability is the norm, then the group will address poor performance and attitudes.
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