Quote

To get greater than 100% return on a growth step, give up defensiveness. Defensiveness stifles performance, and destroys relationships.

Henry Cloud

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Henry Cloud
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: March 17
Preacher
Psychologist
Vicksburg
Mississippi
Steps
Defensiveness
Greater
Destroys
Give
Performance
Giving
Performances
Relationships
Step
Return
Growth
Stifles

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Some goals are not going to fulfill you. Choose goals that you value and care about.
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The sad thing is that many of us come to Christ because we are sinners, and then spend the rest of our lives trying to pretend that we are not!
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Dating should be a part of your life, not your life a part of dating. There is more to life than finding a date.
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The mature person meets the demands of life, while the immature person demands that life meet her demands.
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There is a big difference between hurt and harm. We all hurt sometimes in facing hard truths, but it makes us grow. It can be the source of huge growth. That is not harmful. Harm is when you damage someone. Facing reality is usually not a damaging experience, even though it can hurt.
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If you continue to blame other people for “making” you feel guilty, they still have power over you, and you are saying that you will only feel good when they stop doing that. You are giving them control over your life. Stop blaming other people.
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Leave your pride, ego, and narcissism somewhere else. Reactions from those parts of you will reinforce your children's most primitive fears.
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One of the worst things you can die with is potential.
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If you are building a culture where honest expectations are communicated and peer accountability is the norm, then the group will address poor performance and attitudes.
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The business of church is ultimately people. You're trying to heal people, grow people, teach people, and mend people. And when leaders spend all of their time helping and growing other people, they ignore their own growth.
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A leader's responsibility is to cause a vision and mission to have tangible results in the real world.
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Love can only exist where freedom and responsibility are operating.
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Encourage literally came from in courage. The courage is put into you from outside. Our character and abilities grow through internalizing from others what we do not possess in ourselves.
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Independence is not an option for us. Remember, God existed without us.
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Good pain is pain in the service of a purpose. Bad pain is pain endured because we are resisting a needed growth step.
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Anger is frustration at the fact that we are not God, and do not have control over reality.
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Faith goes beyond reason. It goes beyond what you can see. But it is as real as anything you can touch or feel.
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There's no better way to become a disintegrated character than to be your own authority.
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In the end, as a leader, you are always going to get a combination of two things: what you create and what you allow.
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Boundaries are basically about providing structure, and structure is essential in building anything that thrives.
Henry Cloud