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To get greater than 100% return on a growth step, give up defensiveness. Defensiveness stifles performance, and destroys relationships.

Henry Cloud

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Henry Cloud
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: March 17
Preacher
Psychologist
Vicksburg
Mississippi
Relationships
Step
Return
Growth
Stifles
Steps
Defensiveness
Greater
Destroys
Give
Performance
Giving
Performances

More quotes by Henry Cloud

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If people are really narcissistic or have a need to be seen as more than they really are, or to be admired as having it all together, then they cannot be followed and trusted by others.
Henry Cloud
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When you encourage someone, it literally changes their brain chemistry to be able to perform... sends fuel to the brain.
Henry Cloud
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Training moments occur when both parents and children do their jobs. The parent's job is to make the rule. The child's job is to break the rule. The parent then corrects and disciplines. The child breaks the rule again, and the parent manages the consequences and empathy that then turn the rule into reality and internal structure for the child.
Henry Cloud
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For someone's character to grow, it has to be free from internal attack. Falling down never stopped children from developing. But getting yelled at, criticized, and put down can stop them for life.
Henry Cloud
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We need rest not just so we feel better. We need rest for actual creation of what we're going to need the next day.
Henry Cloud
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Successful people stick to what they are good at and find ways to make that larger.
Henry Cloud
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Good pain is pain in the service of a purpose. Bad pain is pain endured because we are resisting a needed growth step.
Henry Cloud
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It’s scary to realize that the only thing holding our friends to us isn’t our performance, or our lovability, or their guilt, or their obligation. The only thing that will keep them calling, spending time with us, and putting up with us is love. And that’s the one thing we can’t control.
Henry Cloud
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Dating is a place to practice how to relate to other people.
Henry Cloud
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Dating is about finding out who you are and who others are. If you show up in a masquerade outfit, neither is going to happen.
Henry Cloud
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Be Hard on the issue, Soft on the person.
Henry Cloud
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That is why success and fruitfulness depend as much upon focusing on the who you are as much as the what of the work you do. Invest in your character, and it will give you the returns that you are looking for by only investing in the work itself. You can't do the latter without the former.
Henry Cloud
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Consequences give us the pain that motivates us to change.
Henry Cloud
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He is the Truth, and He wants us to deal in truth with ourselves and our loved ones. We want the truth about you and your family to flood into and overrun the secrets that keep you in bondage to dysfunctional behavior and relationships
Henry Cloud
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Christianity is not about morality. It's about reality.
Henry Cloud
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Leave your pride, ego, and narcissism somewhere else. Reactions from those parts of you will reinforce your children's most primitive fears.
Henry Cloud
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If your boundary training consists only of words, you are wasting your breath. But if you 'do' boundaries with your kids, they internalize the experiences, remember them, digest them, and make them part of how they see reality.
Henry Cloud
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Love can only exist where freedom and responsibility are operating.
Henry Cloud
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True intimacy is only build around the freedom to disagree.
Henry Cloud
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Leadership is not taken, it is given. People give leadership to those that they trust. They allow people that they trust to have influence over their lives.
Henry Cloud