Quote

To get greater than 100% return on a growth step, give up defensiveness. Defensiveness stifles performance, and destroys relationships.

Henry Cloud

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Henry Cloud
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: March 17
Preacher
Psychologist
Vicksburg
Mississippi
Growth
Stifles
Steps
Defensiveness
Greater
Destroys
Give
Performance
Giving
Performances
Relationships
Step
Return

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Dating should be a part of your life, not your life a part of dating. There is more to life than finding a date.
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Marriage is not slavery. It is based on a love relationship deeply rooted in freedom. Each partner is free from the other and therefore free to love the other. Where there is control, or perception of control, there is not love. Love only exists where there is freedom.
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When leaders lead in ways that people's brains can follow, good results follow as well.
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When you encourage someone, it literally changes their brain chemistry to be able to perform... sends fuel to the brain.
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If your boundary training consists only of words, you are wasting your breath. But if you 'do' boundaries with your kids, they internalize the experiences, remember them, digest them, and make them part of how they see reality.
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The fool tries to adjust the truth so he does not have to adjust to it.
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Boundaries are basically about providing structure, and structure is essential in building anything that thrives.
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There is a big difference between hurt and harm. We all hurt sometimes in facing hard truths, but it makes us grow. It can be the source of huge growth. That is not harmful. Harm is when you damage someone. Facing reality is usually not a damaging experience, even though it can hurt.
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Dating is about finding out who you are and who others are. If you show up in a masquerade outfit, neither is going to happen.
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It’s scary to realize that the only thing holding our friends to us isn’t our performance, or our lovability, or their guilt, or their obligation. The only thing that will keep them calling, spending time with us, and putting up with us is love. And that’s the one thing we can’t control.
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A person who hasn't grieved a significant loss has unfinished business inside and can cause others great grief as a result.
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Be Hard on the issue, Soft on the person.
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Encourage literally came from in courage. The courage is put into you from outside. Our character and abilities grow through internalizing from others what we do not possess in ourselves.
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Independence is not an option for us. Remember, God existed without us.
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Faith goes beyond reason. It goes beyond what you can see. But it is as real as anything you can touch or feel.
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One of the worst things you can die with is potential.
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There's no better way to become a disintegrated character than to be your own authority.
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Spouses in healthy relationships cherish each other's space and are champions of each other's causes.
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If you continue to blame other people for “making” you feel guilty, they still have power over you, and you are saying that you will only feel good when they stop doing that. You are giving them control over your life. Stop blaming other people.
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The sad thing is that many of us come to Christ because we are sinners, and then spend the rest of our lives trying to pretend that we are not!
Henry Cloud