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To get greater than 100% return on a growth step, give up defensiveness. Defensiveness stifles performance, and destroys relationships.

Henry Cloud

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Henry Cloud
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: March 17
Preacher
Psychologist
Vicksburg
Mississippi
Return
Growth
Stifles
Steps
Defensiveness
Greater
Destroys
Give
Performance
Giving
Performances
Relationships
Step

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Leave your pride, ego, and narcissism somewhere else. Reactions from those parts of you will reinforce your children's most primitive fears.
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One of the worst things you can die with is potential.
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Dating should be a part of your life, not your life a part of dating. There is more to life than finding a date.
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Good pain is pain in the service of a purpose. Bad pain is pain endured because we are resisting a needed growth step.
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Endings are a part of life, and we are actually wired to execute them. But because of trauma, developmental failures, and other reasons, we shy away from the steps that could open up whole new worlds of development and growth.
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Spouses in healthy relationships cherish each other's space and are champions of each other's causes.
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Some goals are not going to fulfill you. Choose goals that you value and care about.
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You have to be able to face losing some things you might want in order to be free to do the right thing.
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Consequences give us the pain that motivates us to change.
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There is a big difference between hurt and harm. We all hurt sometimes in facing hard truths, but it makes us grow. It can be the source of huge growth. That is not harmful. Harm is when you damage someone. Facing reality is usually not a damaging experience, even though it can hurt.
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The amount of truth a relationship can handle is proportional to the amount of perceived love that's present.
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If you want to become healthy, you have to surround yourself with a group of people that are getting healthy and you have to be connected to a community that is doing what you want to do.
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There's no better way to become a disintegrated character than to be your own authority.
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Love can only exist where freedom and responsibility are operating.
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Faith goes beyond reason. It goes beyond what you can see. But it is as real as anything you can touch or feel.
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Christianity is not about morality. It's about reality.
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A leader's responsibility is to cause a vision and mission to have tangible results in the real world.
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In the end, as a leader, you are always going to get a combination of two things: what you create and what you allow.
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A person who hasn't grieved a significant loss has unfinished business inside and can cause others great grief as a result.
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Oftentimes, churches are started by an entrepreneurial church plant visionary whom everybody follows, but he's not following anybody. Even though he's accountable to a board, he's really not. Authority's a good thing, and if it's not forced upon you as a leader, then I suggest, strongly, that you go buy some.
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