Quote

There is a big difference between hurt and harm. We all hurt sometimes in facing hard truths, but it makes us grow. It can be the source of huge growth. That is not harmful. Harm is when you damage someone. Facing reality is usually not a damaging experience, even though it can hurt.

Henry Cloud

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Henry Cloud
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: March 17
Preacher
Psychologist
Vicksburg
Mississippi
Experience
Growth
Harmful
Makes
Grow
Facing
Reality
Huge
Truths
Someone
Differences
Damage
Hard
Hurt
Harm
Sometimes
Grows
Usually
Even
Though
Difference
Bigs
Source
Damaging

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The mature person meets the demands of life, while the immature person demands that life meet her demands.
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If you want to become healthy, you have to surround yourself with a group of people that are getting healthy and you have to be connected to a community that is doing what you want to do.
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If your boundary training consists only of words, you are wasting your breath. But if you 'do' boundaries with your kids, they internalize the experiences, remember them, digest them, and make them part of how they see reality.
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Everything has seasons, and we have to be able to recognize when something's time has passed and be able to move into the next season. Everything that is alive requires pruning as well, which is a great metaphor for endings.
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Christianity is not about morality. It's about reality.
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When leaders lead in ways that people's brains can follow, good results follow as well.
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A good test of a relationship is how a person responds to the word 'no.' Love respects 'no,' control does not.
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Successful people stick to what they are good at and find ways to make that larger.
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Encourage literally came from in courage. The courage is put into you from outside. Our character and abilities grow through internalizing from others what we do not possess in ourselves.
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To get greater than 100% return on a growth step, give up defensiveness. Defensiveness stifles performance, and destroys relationships.
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When you encourage someone, it literally changes their brain chemistry to be able to perform... sends fuel to the brain.
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Be Hard on the issue, Soft on the person.
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Because dating is a human exercise, it can be a tightrope fraught with danger. You will be dating imperfect people, and some of them are more imperfect than others. In addition, you are not perfect either, so that complicates the picture.
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There's no better way to become a disintegrated character than to be your own authority.
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Dating is about finding out who you are and who others are. If you show up in a masquerade outfit, neither is going to happen.
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The physicality of a real relationship - one that encompasses mind, body and soul - ultimately makes it more fulfilling and powerful than any virtual relationship ever could be.
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Leadership is not taken, it is given. People give leadership to those that they trust. They allow people that they trust to have influence over their lives.
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People tend to look at dating sort of like a safari - like they're trying to land the trophy.
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The sad thing is that many of us come to Christ because we are sinners, and then spend the rest of our lives trying to pretend that we are not!
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If you are building a culture where honest expectations are communicated and peer accountability is the norm, then the group will address poor performance and attitudes.
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