Quote

I call my lawyer and say, 'Can I ask you two questions?' He says, 'What's the second question?'

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Questions
Second
Question
Says
Asks
Call
Two
Lawyer

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If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.
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The Doctor says, You'll live to be 60! I AM 60! See, what did I tell you?
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My brother then opened a tall man's shop in Tokyo.
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I know a man who is a diamond cutter. He mows the lawn at Yankee Stadium.
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Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
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I know a man in Ft. Worth with 100,000 head of cattle. No bodies, just heads.
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Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.
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I live about four muggings from Central Park.
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I don't mind when my horse is left at the post. I don't mind when my horse comes up to me in the stands and asks, Which way do I go? But when the horse I bet on is at the $2 window betting on another horse in the same race...
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Two Santa Clauses on the corner. How can you tell the Polish one? The one with the Easter basket.
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Another drunk goes up to a parking meter, puts in a quarter, the dial goes to 60. The drunk says, Huh. I lost 100 pounds!
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My history teacher was so old, he taught from memory.
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The other day I broke 70. That's a lot of clubs.
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