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The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Way
Birthday
Effective
Married
Wife
Forget
Remember
Anything
Wanted
More quotes by Henny Youngman
I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet.
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I've kissed so many women I can do it with my eyes closed.
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I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.
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This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest.
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Is that your hat or are you wearing a cabana?
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I know a man who is a diamond cutter. He mows the lawn at Yankee Stadium.
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I don't believe in reincarnation, but what were you when you were alive?
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She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, Am I too late for the garbage? No, jump in!
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A Polish guy locked his keys in the car. It took an hour to get his wife out.
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Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3 friends. If they are okay, you're it.
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A baby-sitter is a teenager who gets two dollars an hour to eat five dollars' worth of your food.
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Now, the band that inspired that great saying, Stop The Music!!
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Have I got a mother-in-law. She's so neat she puts paper under the cuckoo clock.
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A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.
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My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, Crick.
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Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears. Don't answer!
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I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, There is water in the carburetor. I said, Where's the car? She said, In the lake.
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My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable.
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In elementary school, many a true word is spoken in guess.
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College: A fountain of knowledge where all go to drink.
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