Quote

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Remember
Anything
Wanted
Way
Birthday
Effective
Married
Wife
Forget

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A tough guy told me, I'll bet you $10 you're dead. I was afraid to bet him.
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I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
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A woman was taking a shower. There is a knock on the door. Who is it? Blind man! The woman opens the door. Where do you want these blinds, lady?
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I have a lovely room and bath in the hotel. It's a little inconvenient, they're in two separate buildings!
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There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.
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Let's get up here before we get killed!
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My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said,'Cough'
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Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.
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I know a man in Ft. Worth with 100,000 head of cattle. No bodies, just heads.
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Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears. Don't answer!
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A motel is where you give up good dollars for bad quarters.
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Have you noticed that families on TV never watch television?
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Americans are getting stronger. Twenty years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars' worth of groceries. Today, a five-year-old can do it.
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A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!
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Now, the band that inspired that great saying, Stop The Music!!
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I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car.
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If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.
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I own a hundred and fifty books, but I have no bookcase. Nobody will lend me a bookcase.
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Most girls are attracted to the simple things in life. Like men.
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This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest.
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