Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Henny Youngman
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Way
Birthday
Effective
Married
Wife
Forget
Remember
Anything
Wanted
More quotes by Henny Youngman
My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, Crick.
Henny Youngman
Zsa Zsa Gabor is an expert housekeeper. Every time she gets divorced, she keeps the house.
Henny Youngman
Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears. Don't answer!
Henny Youngman
I know a man in Ft. Worth with 100,000 head of cattle. No bodies, just heads.
Henny Youngman
He had a defect, which to a comic might be fatal. He wasn't funny.
Henny Youngman
I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
Henny Youngman
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
Henny Youngman
The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.
Henny Youngman
She must have Egyptian blood. Every time I try to kiss her she says, Tut, Tut!
Henny Youngman
I know what I'm giving up for Lent: my New Year's resolutions.
Henny Youngman
Everytime I ask what time it is, I get a different answer.
Henny Youngman
I bet on a horse at ten-to-one. It didn't come in until half-past five.
Henny Youngman
In elementary school, many a true word is spoken in guess.
Henny Youngman
Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3 friends. If they are okay, you're it.
Henny Youngman
Two Santa Clauses on the corner. How can you tell the Polish one? The one with the Easter basket.
Henny Youngman
I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards.
Henny Youngman
He is the only man I ever met with a seersucker face.
Henny Youngman
My history teacher was so old, he taught from memory.
Henny Youngman
You have the Midas touch. Everything you touch turns to a muffler.
Henny Youngman
My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.
Henny Youngman