Quote

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Remember
Anything
Wanted
Way
Birthday
Effective
Married
Wife
Forget

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I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards.
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How do Polish people spell farm? E-I-E-I-O
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If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.
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The Doctor says, You'll live to be 60! I AM 60! See, what did I tell you?
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The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.
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She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, Am I too late for the garbage? No, jump in!
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I'm offended by political jokes. Too often they get elected.
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I'll never forget my first words in the theatre. Peanuts. Popcorn.
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I've kissed so many women I can do it with my eyes closed.
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A woman was taking a shower. There is a knock on the door. Who is it? Blind man! The woman opens the door. Where do you want these blinds, lady?
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I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
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A Polish terrorist was sent to blow up a car. He burned his mouth on the exhaust pipe!
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On dancing on pointe: Why don't they just get taller girls?
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Americans are getting stronger. Twenty years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars' worth of groceries. Today, a five-year-old can do it.
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My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable.
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I went to the bank and reviewed my savings, I found out I have all the money I'll ever need. If I die tomorrow.
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The more I think of you, the less I think of you.
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Doctor says to a man, You're pregnant! The man says, How does a man get pregnant? The doctor says, The usual way - a little wine, a little dinner....
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Have you noticed that families on TV never watch television?
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