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A woman was taking a shower. There is a knock on the door. Who is it? Blind man! The woman opens the door. Where do you want these blinds, lady?
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Doors
Blinds
Taking
Shower
Woman
Showers
Men
Knock
Opens
Lady
Door
Blind
More quotes by Henny Youngman
My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said,'Cough'
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Zsa Zsa Gabor is an expert housekeeper. Every time she gets divorced, she keeps the house.
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I'm offended by political jokes. Too often they get elected.
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I bet on a horse at ten-to-one. It didn't come in until half-past five.
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My wife drives the wrong way on a one way street. The cop pulled her over and asked, Where are you going? My wife said, I must be late, everyone is all coming back!
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My best friend ran away with my wife, and let me tell you, I miss him.
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When I go to a restaurant I always ask the manager, Give me a table near a waiter.
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The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, Mrs. Cohen, your check came back. Mrs. Cohen answered, So did my arthritis!
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A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.
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Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.
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College: A fountain of knowledge where all go to drink.
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I went to the bank and reviewed my savings, I found out I have all the money I'll ever need. If I die tomorrow.
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Have you noticed that families on TV never watch television?
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Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3 friends. If they are okay, you're it.
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I live about four muggings from Central Park.
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My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
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A Jewish man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, Can I park here? No says the cop. What about all these other cars? They didn't ask!
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I have a lovely room and bath in the hotel. It's a little inconvenient, they're in two separate buildings!
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