Quote

A woman was taking a shower. There is a knock on the door. Who is it? Blind man! The woman opens the door. Where do you want these blinds, lady?

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Lady
Door
Blind
Doors
Blinds
Taking
Shower
Woman
Showers
Men
Knock
Opens

More quotes by Henny Youngman

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The Doctor says, You'll live to be 60! I AM 60! See, what did I tell you?
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If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.
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A doctor says to a man, You want to improve your love life? You need to get some exercise. Run ten miles a day. Two weeks later, the man called the doctor. The doctor says, How is your love life since you have been running? I don't know, I'm 140 miles away!
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I know a man who is a diamond cutter. He mows the lawn at Yankee Stadium.
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Most marriage failures are caused by failures marrying.
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How do Polish people spell farm? E-I-E-I-O
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A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, Doc, how do I stand? The doctor says, That's what puzzles me!
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What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.
Henny Youngman
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If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
Henny Youngman
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A guy says, I'm so old that I forgot how old I am. An old woman says, I'll tell you how old you are. Take off your clothes and bend over. The man does this. The woman says, You're seventy four. The man says, How can you tell? The woman says, You told me yesterday.
Henny Youngman
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We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
Henny Youngman
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Another drunk goes up to a parking meter, puts in a quarter, the dial goes to 60. The drunk says, Huh. I lost 100 pounds!
Henny Youngman
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I own a hundred and fifty books, but I have no bookcase. Nobody will lend me a bookcase.
Henny Youngman
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I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, There is water in the carburetor. I said, Where's the car? She said, In the lake.
Henny Youngman
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I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
Henny Youngman
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A Polish terrorist was sent to blow up a car. He burned his mouth on the exhaust pipe!
Henny Youngman
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I know what I'm giving up for Lent: my New Year's resolutions.
Henny Youngman
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College: A fountain of knowledge where all go to drink.
Henny Youngman
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She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, Am I too late for the garbage? No, jump in!
Henny Youngman
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A Polish man had his vasectomy done at Sears. Now when he makes love, the garage door goes up.
Henny Youngman