Quote

A woman was taking a shower. There is a knock on the door. Who is it? Blind man! The woman opens the door. Where do you want these blinds, lady?

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Woman
Showers
Men
Knock
Opens
Lady
Door
Blind
Doors
Blinds
Taking
Shower

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There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.
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Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.
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I have a car that I call Flattery because it gets me nowhere.
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I know a man in Ft. Worth with 100,000 head of cattle. No bodies, just heads.
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He is the only man I ever met with a seersucker face.
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I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards.
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I don't believe in reincarnation, but what were you when you were alive?
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Americans are getting stronger. Twenty years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars' worth of groceries. Today, a five-year-old can do it.
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Doctor says to a man, You're pregnant! The man says, How does a man get pregnant? The doctor says, The usual way - a little wine, a little dinner....
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We were married for better or worse. I couldn't have done better, and she couldn't have done worse.
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Where did you get your haircut, the pet shop?
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Two Santa Clauses on the corner. How can you tell the Polish one? The one with the Easter basket.
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A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says You've been brought here for drinking. The drunk says Okay, let's get started.
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The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.
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I've kissed so many women I can do it with my eyes closed.
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Have I got a mother-in-law. She's so neat she puts paper under the cuckoo clock.
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I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet.
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Everytime I ask what time it is, I get a different answer.
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