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A woman was taking a shower. There is a knock on the door. Who is it? Blind man! The woman opens the door. Where do you want these blinds, lady?
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Door
Blind
Doors
Blinds
Taking
Shower
Woman
Showers
Men
Knock
Opens
Lady
More quotes by Henny Youngman
The Doctor says, You'll live to be 60! I AM 60! See, what did I tell you?
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Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop.
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On dancing on pointe: Why don't they just get taller girls?
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I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
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You have the Midas touch. Everything you touch turns to a muffler.
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There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.
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Another drunk goes up to a parking meter, puts in a quarter, the dial goes to 60. The drunk says, Huh. I lost 100 pounds!
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If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
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The other day I broke 70. That's a lot of clubs.
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I bet on a horse at ten-to-one. It didn't come in until half-past five.
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A Polish man had his vasectomy done at Sears. Now when he makes love, the garage door goes up.
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A motel is where you give up good dollars for bad quarters.
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A Jewish man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, Can I park here? No says the cop. What about all these other cars? They didn't ask!
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A tough guy told me, I'll bet you $10 you're dead. I was afraid to bet him.
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When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
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I know what I'm giving up for Lent: my New Year's resolutions.
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How do Polish people spell farm? E-I-E-I-O
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My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night. Only this time, I stayed in the bathroom and cried.
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