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A woman was taking a shower. There is a knock on the door. Who is it? Blind man! The woman opens the door. Where do you want these blinds, lady?
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Opens
Lady
Door
Blind
Doors
Blinds
Taking
Shower
Woman
Showers
Men
Knock
More quotes by Henny Youngman
A doctor says to a man, You want to improve your love life? You need to get some exercise. Run ten miles a day. Two weeks later, the man called the doctor. The doctor says, How is your love life since you have been running? I don't know, I'm 140 miles away!
Henny Youngman
I bet on a horse at ten-to-one. It didn't come in until half-past five.
Henny Youngman
I don't believe in reincarnation, but what were you when you were alive?
Henny Youngman
What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.
Henny Youngman
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Henny Youngman
I was playing golf. I swung, missed the ball, and got a big chunk of dirt. I swung again, missed the ball, and got another big chunk of dirt. Just then, 2 ants climbed on the ball saying, Let's get up here before we get killed!
Henny Youngman
My best friend ran away with my wife, and let me tell you, I miss him.
Henny Youngman
How do Polish people spell farm? E-I-E-I-O
Henny Youngman
This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest.
Henny Youngman
I have a lovely room and bath in the hotel. It's a little inconvenient, they're in two separate buildings!
Henny Youngman
She must have Egyptian blood. Every time I try to kiss her she says, Tut, Tut!
Henny Youngman
A woman says to a man, I haven't seen you around here. Yes, I just got out of jail for killing my wife. So you're single!
Henny Youngman
A Polish man had a bandage on each ear. What happened? I was ironing, and the phone rang! What about the other ear? Had to call the doctor!
Henny Youngman
My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.
Henny Youngman
If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
Henny Youngman
I'm offended by political jokes. Too often they get elected.
Henny Youngman
I wish my brother would learn a trade, so I would know what kind of work he's out of.
Henny Youngman
My room is so small, the mice are hunchbacked.
Henny Youngman
Doctor says to a man, You're pregnant! The man says, How does a man get pregnant? The doctor says, The usual way - a little wine, a little dinner....
Henny Youngman
My brother then opened a tall man's shop in Tokyo.
Henny Youngman
