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I live about four muggings from Central Park.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Parks
Central
Four
Live
Park

More quotes by Henny Youngman

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The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.
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College: A fountain of knowledge where all go to drink.
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A baby-sitter is a teenager who gets two dollars an hour to eat five dollars' worth of your food.
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Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
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What is a home without children? Quiet.
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I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards.
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Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3 friends. If they are okay, you're it.
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A guy says, I'm so old that I forgot how old I am. An old woman says, I'll tell you how old you are. Take off your clothes and bend over. The man does this. The woman says, You're seventy four. The man says, How can you tell? The woman says, You told me yesterday.
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The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, Mrs. Cohen, your check came back. Mrs. Cohen answered, So did my arthritis!
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Nurse: Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office. Doctor: Turn him around, make it look like he was walking in.
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I know a man in Ft. Worth with 100,000 head of cattle. No bodies, just heads.
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I own a hundred and fifty books, but I have no bookcase. Nobody will lend me a bookcase.
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If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
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I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
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My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat.
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A Polish man bought a zebra for a pet. What does he call the zebra? Spot!
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The more I think of you, the less I think of you.
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My room is so small, the mice are hunchbacked.
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I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.
Henny Youngman
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My history teacher was so old, he taught from memory.
Henny Youngman