Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
I live about four muggings from Central Park.
Henny Youngman
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Central
Four
Live
Park
Parks
More quotes by Henny Youngman
My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable.
Henny Youngman
Everytime I ask what time it is, I get a different answer.
Henny Youngman
If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
Henny Youngman
Now, the band that inspired that great saying, Stop The Music!!
Henny Youngman
I was playing golf. I swung, missed the ball, and got a big chunk of dirt. I swung again, missed the ball, and got another big chunk of dirt. Just then, 2 ants climbed on the ball saying, Let's get up here before we get killed!
Henny Youngman
College: A fountain of knowledge where all go to drink.
Henny Youngman
A guy says, I'm so old that I forgot how old I am. An old woman says, I'll tell you how old you are. Take off your clothes and bend over. The man does this. The woman says, You're seventy four. The man says, How can you tell? The woman says, You told me yesterday.
Henny Youngman
She must have Egyptian blood. Every time I try to kiss her she says, Tut, Tut!
Henny Youngman
This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.
Henny Youngman
If I had blood, I'd blush.
Henny Youngman
My wife has a keen sense of humor. The more I humor her, the better.
Henny Youngman
I'm paid to make an idiot out of myself. Why do you do it for free?
Henny Youngman
A Polish guy locked his keys in the car. It took an hour to get his wife out.
Henny Youngman
I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.
Henny Youngman
I've kissed so many women I can do it with my eyes closed.
Henny Youngman
My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, Crick.
Henny Youngman
My best friend ran away with my wife, and let me tell you, I miss him.
Henny Youngman
Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
Henny Youngman
There were three kids in my family. One of each sex.
Henny Youngman
Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3 friends. If they are okay, you're it.
Henny Youngman