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I live about four muggings from Central Park.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Live
Park
Parks
Central
Four

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When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
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The Doctor says, You'll live to be 60! I AM 60! See, what did I tell you?
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He had a defect, which to a comic might be fatal. He wasn't funny.
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Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears. Don't answer!
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Americans are getting stronger. Twenty years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars' worth of groceries. Today, a five-year-old can do it.
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On dancing on pointe: Why don't they just get taller girls?
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I've kissed so many women I can do it with my eyes closed.
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A Polish man had his vasectomy done at Sears. Now when he makes love, the garage door goes up.
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I'll tell you how to beat the gambling in Las Vegas. When you get off the airplane, walk right into the propeller.
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You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.
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That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!
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I told my mother-in-law my house is your house. So she sold it.
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My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
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Most girls are attracted to the simple things in life. Like men.
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My room is so small, the mice are hunchbacked.
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My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night. Only this time, I stayed in the bathroom and cried.
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My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable.
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