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There were three kids in my family. One of each sex.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Sex
Family
Three
Kids

More quotes by Henny Youngman

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That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!
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Zsa Zsa Gabor is an expert housekeeper. Every time she gets divorced, she keeps the house.
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My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
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I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
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I don't mind when my horse is left at the post. I don't mind when my horse comes up to me in the stands and asks, Which way do I go? But when the horse I bet on is at the $2 window betting on another horse in the same race...
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On dancing on pointe: Why don't they just get taller girls?
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What is a home without children? Quiet.
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How do Polish people spell farm? E-I-E-I-O
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The other day I broke 70. That's a lot of clubs.
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Don't move! I want to forget you just the way you are.
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Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.
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A doctor says to a man, You want to improve your love life? You need to get some exercise. Run ten miles a day. Two weeks later, the man called the doctor. The doctor says, How is your love life since you have been running? I don't know, I'm 140 miles away!
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My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.
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Where did you get your haircut, the pet shop?
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I've kissed so many women I can do it with my eyes closed.
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I'd commit suicide, if I could do it without killing myself.
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Most girls are attracted to the simple things in life. Like men.
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I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, There is water in the carburetor. I said, Where's the car? She said, In the lake.
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What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.
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Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop.
Henny Youngman