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There were three kids in my family. One of each sex.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Sex
Family
Three
Kids

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Most marriage failures are caused by failures marrying.
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My brother then opened a tall man's shop in Tokyo.
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Payday at my house is like the Academy Awards. My wife says: May I have the envelope please.
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A Jewish man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, Can I park here? No says the cop. What about all these other cars? They didn't ask!
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We were married for better or worse. I couldn't have done better, and she couldn't have done worse.
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My wife has a keen sense of humor. The more I humor her, the better.
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I went to the bank and reviewed my savings, I found out I have all the money I'll ever need. If I die tomorrow.
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If I had blood, I'd blush.
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Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears. Don't answer!
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Nurse: Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office. Doctor: Turn him around, make it look like he was walking in.
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Last night I ordered a whole meal in French. Even the waiter was amazed - it was a Chinese restaurant!
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A man is at the bar, drunk. I pick him up off the floor, and offer to take him home. On the way to my car, he falls down three times. When I get to his house, I help him out of the car, and on the way to the front door, he falls down four more times. I ring the bell and say, Here's your husband! The man's wife says, Where's his wheelchair?
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That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!
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A Polish guy locked his keys in the car. It took an hour to get his wife out.
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I wish my brother would learn a trade, so I would know what kind of work he's out of.
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This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.
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My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable.
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How do Polish people spell farm? E-I-E-I-O
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My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat.
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Two Polish men at Halloween with burned faces. What happened? They were bobbing for french fries.
Henny Youngman