Quote

I've kissed so many women I can do it with my eyes closed.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Many
Kissed
Closed
Eyes
Eye
Women

More quotes by Henny Youngman

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Nurse: Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office. Doctor: Turn him around, make it look like he was walking in.
Henny Youngman
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My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
Henny Youngman
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A Polish man bought a zebra for a pet. What does he call the zebra? Spot!
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Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
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My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable.
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Most girls are attracted to the simple things in life. Like men.
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Is that your hat or are you wearing a cabana?
Henny Youngman
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I'm offended by political jokes. Too often they get elected.
Henny Youngman
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Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3 friends. If they are okay, you're it.
Henny Youngman
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Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop.
Henny Youngman
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A Polish terrorist was sent to blow up a car. He burned his mouth on the exhaust pipe!
Henny Youngman
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My brother then opened a tall man's shop in Tokyo.
Henny Youngman
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A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!
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Two Santa Clauses on the corner. How can you tell the Polish one? The one with the Easter basket.
Henny Youngman
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Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
Henny Youngman
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The doctor says to the patient, Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window. What will that do asks the patient. The doctor says I'm mad at my neighbor!.
Henny Youngman
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I wish my brother would learn a trade, so I would know what kind of work he's out of.
Henny Youngman
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That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!
Henny Youngman
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I know a man in Ft. Worth with 100,000 head of cattle. No bodies, just heads.
Henny Youngman
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He had a defect, which to a comic might be fatal. He wasn't funny.
Henny Youngman