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I've kissed so many women I can do it with my eyes closed.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Kissed
Closed
Eyes
Eye
Women
Many

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My wife drives the wrong way on a one way street. The cop pulled her over and asked, Where are you going? My wife said, I must be late, everyone is all coming back!
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I've been married for 49 years. Where have I failed?
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Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears. Don't answer!
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My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night. Only this time, I stayed in the bathroom and cried.
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A Polish man bought a zebra for a pet. What does he call the zebra? Spot!
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I live about four muggings from Central Park.
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On dancing on pointe: Why don't they just get taller girls?
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If a joke is too hard to visualize, I tell the young comics, then what the hell good is it?
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Most marriage failures are caused by failures marrying.
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The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, Mrs. Cohen, your check came back. Mrs. Cohen answered, So did my arthritis!
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You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.
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In elementary school, many a true word is spoken in guess.
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I bet on a horse at ten-to-one. It didn't come in until half-past five.
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Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.
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My brother then opened a tall man's shop in Tokyo.
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How do Polish people spell farm? E-I-E-I-O
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