Quote

I've kissed so many women I can do it with my eyes closed.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Many
Kissed
Closed
Eyes
Eye
Women

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I told my mother-in-law my house is your house. So she sold it.
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She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, Am I too late for the garbage? No, jump in!
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If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
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I bet on a horse at ten-to-one. It didn't come in until half-past five.
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We were married for better or worse. I couldn't have done better, and she couldn't have done worse.
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Are you married? What do you do for agravation?
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I have terrible luck. Last week my chauffeur ran off without my wife.
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I'm offended by political jokes. Too often they get elected.
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When I go to a restaurant I always ask the manager, Give me a table near a waiter.
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Now, the band that inspired that great saying, Stop The Music!!
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I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car.
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A doctor says to a man, You want to improve your love life? You need to get some exercise. Run ten miles a day. Two weeks later, the man called the doctor. The doctor says, How is your love life since you have been running? I don't know, I'm 140 miles away!
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A Polish man had a bandage on each ear. What happened? I was ironing, and the phone rang! What about the other ear? Had to call the doctor!
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Why are you hitting me, there is nobody behind us!
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There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.
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I'll never forget my first words in the theatre. Peanuts. Popcorn.
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Two Polish men at Halloween with burned faces. What happened? They were bobbing for french fries.
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I own a hundred and fifty books, but I have no bookcase. Nobody will lend me a bookcase.
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I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
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My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable.
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