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If a joke is too hard to visualize, I tell the young comics, then what the hell good is it?

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Jokes
Hell
Tell
Young
Hard
Good
Visualize
Comics
Joke

More quotes by Henny Youngman

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College: A fountain of knowledge where all go to drink.
Henny Youngman
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My wife drives the wrong way on a one way street. The cop pulled her over and asked, Where are you going? My wife said, I must be late, everyone is all coming back!
Henny Youngman
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Most girls are attracted to the simple things in life. Like men.
Henny Youngman
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If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.
Henny Youngman
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Zsa Zsa Gabor is an expert housekeeper. Every time she gets divorced, she keeps the house.
Henny Youngman
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I bet on a horse at ten-to-one. It didn't come in until half-past five.
Henny Youngman
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Americans are getting stronger. Twenty years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars' worth of groceries. Today, a five-year-old can do it.
Henny Youngman
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Now, the band that inspired that great saying, Stop The Music!!
Henny Youngman
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A Polish man bought a zebra for a pet. What does he call the zebra? Spot!
Henny Youngman
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My room is so small, the mice are hunchbacked.
Henny Youngman
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A tough guy told me, I'll bet you $10 you're dead. I was afraid to bet him.
Henny Youngman
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I told my mother-in-law my house is your house. So she sold it.
Henny Youngman
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I wish my brother would learn a trade, so I would know what kind of work he's out of.
Henny Youngman
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Where did you get your haircut, the pet shop?
Henny Youngman
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Have you noticed that families on TV never watch television?
Henny Youngman
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This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.
Henny Youngman
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My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable.
Henny Youngman
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I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
Henny Youngman
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I call my lawyer and say, 'Can I ask you two questions?' He says, 'What's the second question?'
Henny Youngman
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I went to the bank and reviewed my savings, I found out I have all the money I'll ever need. If I die tomorrow.
Henny Youngman