Quote

If a joke is too hard to visualize, I tell the young comics, then what the hell good is it?

Henny Youngman

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Good
Visualize
Comics
Joke
Jokes
Hell
Tell
Young
Hard

More quotes by Henny Youngman

Image
My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator.
Henny Youngman
Image
The room is so small, when I put the key in, I broke the window!
Henny Youngman
Image
I was playing golf. I swung, missed the ball, and got a big chunk of dirt. I swung again, missed the ball, and got another big chunk of dirt. Just then, 2 ants climbed on the ball saying, Let's get up here before we get killed!
Henny Youngman
Image
Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.
Henny Youngman
Image
Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop.
Henny Youngman
Image
Are you Polish? Okay, I'll talk slower.
Henny Youngman
Image
I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.
Henny Youngman
Image
Most marriage failures are caused by failures marrying.
Henny Youngman
Image
A Polish guy locked his keys in the car. It took an hour to get his wife out.
Henny Youngman
Image
The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, Mrs. Cohen, your check came back. Mrs. Cohen answered, So did my arthritis!
Henny Youngman
Image
I'm paid to make an idiot out of myself. Why do you do it for free?
Henny Youngman
Image
The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.
Henny Youngman
Image
I have a car that I call Flattery because it gets me nowhere.
Henny Youngman
Image
A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.
Henny Youngman
Image
My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
Henny Youngman
Image
Two Santa Clauses on the corner. How can you tell the Polish one? The one with the Easter basket.
Henny Youngman
Image
I don't mind when my horse is left at the post. I don't mind when my horse comes up to me in the stands and asks, Which way do I go? But when the horse I bet on is at the $2 window betting on another horse in the same race...
Henny Youngman
Image
I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet.
Henny Youngman
Image
A Polish terrorist was sent to blow up a car. He burned his mouth on the exhaust pipe!
Henny Youngman
Image
I know a man who is a diamond cutter. He mows the lawn at Yankee Stadium.
Henny Youngman