Quote

If a joke is too hard to visualize, I tell the young comics, then what the hell good is it?

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Hell
Tell
Young
Hard
Good
Visualize
Comics
Joke
Jokes

More quotes by Henny Youngman

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A Polish man had a bandage on each ear. What happened? I was ironing, and the phone rang! What about the other ear? Had to call the doctor!
Henny Youngman
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My wife has a black belt in shopping.
Henny Youngman
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We were married for better or worse. I couldn't have done better, and she couldn't have done worse.
Henny Youngman
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A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says You've been brought here for drinking. The drunk says Okay, let's get started.
Henny Youngman
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If I had blood, I'd blush.
Henny Youngman
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Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop.
Henny Youngman
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This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.
Henny Youngman
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Why are you hitting me, there is nobody behind us!
Henny Youngman
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I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.
Henny Youngman
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My history teacher was so old, he taught from memory.
Henny Youngman
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My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.
Henny Youngman
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My brother then opened a tall man's shop in Tokyo.
Henny Youngman
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I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car.
Henny Youngman
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I'd commit suicide, if I could do it without killing myself.
Henny Youngman
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I've kissed so many women I can do it with my eyes closed.
Henny Youngman
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The room is so small, when I put the key in, I broke the window!
Henny Youngman
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I live about four muggings from Central Park.
Henny Youngman
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Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
Henny Youngman
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My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night. Only this time, I stayed in the bathroom and cried.
Henny Youngman
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I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet.
Henny Youngman