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My wife has a keen sense of humor. The more I humor her, the better.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Wife
Sense
Better
Keen
Humor

More quotes by Henny Youngman

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Nurse: Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office. Doctor: Turn him around, make it look like he was walking in.
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Is that your hat or are you wearing a cabana?
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Most girls are attracted to the simple things in life. Like men.
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The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.
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I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car.
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My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat.
Henny Youngman
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My room is so small, the mice are hunchbacked.
Henny Youngman
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My brother then opened a tall man's shop in Tokyo.
Henny Youngman
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A man is at the bar, drunk. I pick him up off the floor, and offer to take him home. On the way to my car, he falls down three times. When I get to his house, I help him out of the car, and on the way to the front door, he falls down four more times. I ring the bell and say, Here's your husband! The man's wife says, Where's his wheelchair?
Henny Youngman
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That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!
Henny Youngman
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My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.
Henny Youngman
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I was playing golf. I swung, missed the ball, and got a big chunk of dirt. I swung again, missed the ball, and got another big chunk of dirt. Just then, 2 ants climbed on the ball saying, Let's get up here before we get killed!
Henny Youngman
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The hotel I'm in has a lovely closet. A nail.
Henny Youngman
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A Polish guy locked his keys in the car. It took an hour to get his wife out.
Henny Youngman
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My wife drives the wrong way on a one way street. The cop pulled her over and asked, Where are you going? My wife said, I must be late, everyone is all coming back!
Henny Youngman
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I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
Henny Youngman
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Everytime I ask what time it is, I get a different answer.
Henny Youngman
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I'd commit suicide, if I could do it without killing myself.
Henny Youngman
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We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
Henny Youngman
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My wife has a black belt in shopping.
Henny Youngman