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My wife has a keen sense of humor. The more I humor her, the better.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Keen
Humor
Wife
Sense
Better

More quotes by Henny Youngman

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Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
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The Doctor says, You'll live to be 60! I AM 60! See, what did I tell you?
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My wife has a black belt in shopping.
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My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat.
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I was playing golf. I swung, missed the ball, and got a big chunk of dirt. I swung again, missed the ball, and got another big chunk of dirt. Just then, 2 ants climbed on the ball saying, Let's get up here before we get killed!
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I wish my brother would learn a trade, so I would know what kind of work he's out of.
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She must have Egyptian blood. Every time I try to kiss her she says, Tut, Tut!
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A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, Doc, how do I stand? The doctor says, That's what puzzles me!
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Most marriage failures are caused by failures marrying.
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The doctor says to the patient, Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window. What will that do asks the patient. The doctor says I'm mad at my neighbor!.
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I know what I'm giving up for Lent: my New Year's resolutions.
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A woman says to a man, I haven't seen you around here. Yes, I just got out of jail for killing my wife. So you're single!
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Don't move! I want to forget you just the way you are.
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My history teacher was so old, he taught from memory.
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Is that your hat or are you wearing a cabana?
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My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night. Only this time, I stayed in the bathroom and cried.
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A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.
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While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
Henny Youngman
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A woman was taking a shower. There is a knock on the door. Who is it? Blind man! The woman opens the door. Where do you want these blinds, lady?
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A man is at the bar, drunk. I pick him up off the floor, and offer to take him home. On the way to my car, he falls down three times. When I get to his house, I help him out of the car, and on the way to the front door, he falls down four more times. I ring the bell and say, Here's your husband! The man's wife says, Where's his wheelchair?
Henny Youngman