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My wife has a keen sense of humor. The more I humor her, the better.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Better
Keen
Humor
Wife
Sense

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My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator.
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A man is at the bar, drunk. I pick him up off the floor, and offer to take him home. On the way to my car, he falls down three times. When I get to his house, I help him out of the car, and on the way to the front door, he falls down four more times. I ring the bell and say, Here's your husband! The man's wife says, Where's his wheelchair?
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I'm paid to make an idiot out of myself. Why do you do it for free?
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I live about four muggings from Central Park.
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We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
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My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said,'Cough'
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How do Polish people spell farm? E-I-E-I-O
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Most girls are attracted to the simple things in life. Like men.
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A woman says to a man, I haven't seen you around here. Yes, I just got out of jail for killing my wife. So you're single!
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I own a hundred and fifty books, but I have no bookcase. Nobody will lend me a bookcase.
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My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat.
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My wife drives the wrong way on a one way street. The cop pulled her over and asked, Where are you going? My wife said, I must be late, everyone is all coming back!
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Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.
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Payday at my house is like the Academy Awards. My wife says: May I have the envelope please.
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A tough guy told me, I'll bet you $10 you're dead. I was afraid to bet him.
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While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
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I know a man in Ft. Worth with 100,000 head of cattle. No bodies, just heads.
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Everytime I ask what time it is, I get a different answer.
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I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
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