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Most girls are attracted to the simple things in life. Like men.
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Things
Men
Life
Like
Attracted
Girls
Simple
Girl
More quotes by Henny Youngman
What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.
Henny Youngman
In elementary school, many a true word is spoken in guess.
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A doctor says to a man, You want to improve your love life? You need to get some exercise. Run ten miles a day. Two weeks later, the man called the doctor. The doctor says, How is your love life since you have been running? I don't know, I'm 140 miles away!
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I'm offended by political jokes. Too often they get elected.
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Another drunk goes up to a parking meter, puts in a quarter, the dial goes to 60. The drunk says, Huh. I lost 100 pounds!
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Have I got a mother-in-law. She's so neat she puts paper under the cuckoo clock.
Henny Youngman
You have the Midas touch. Everything you touch turns to a muffler.
Henny Youngman
A motel is where you give up good dollars for bad quarters.
Henny Youngman
I have terrible luck. Last week my chauffeur ran off without my wife.
Henny Youngman
She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, Am I too late for the garbage? No, jump in!
Henny Youngman
Two Santa Clauses on the corner. How can you tell the Polish one? The one with the Easter basket.
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I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car.
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I know what I'm giving up for Lent: my New Year's resolutions.
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Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop.
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I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill.
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My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator.
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My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
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My wife has a black belt in shopping.
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I went to the bank and reviewed my savings, I found out I have all the money I'll ever need. If I die tomorrow.
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You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.
Henny Youngman
