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Most girls are attracted to the simple things in life. Like men.
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Things
Men
Life
Like
Attracted
Girls
Simple
Girl
More quotes by Henny Youngman
Are you married? What do you do for agravation?
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I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, There is water in the carburetor. I said, Where's the car? She said, In the lake.
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What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.
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Now, the band that inspired that great saying, Stop The Music!!
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My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat.
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We were married for better or worse. I couldn't have done better, and she couldn't have done worse.
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She must have Egyptian blood. Every time I try to kiss her she says, Tut, Tut!
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I bet on a horse at ten-to-one. It didn't come in until half-past five.
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I've been married for 49 years. Where have I failed?
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My wife drives the wrong way on a one way street. The cop pulled her over and asked, Where are you going? My wife said, I must be late, everyone is all coming back!
Henny Youngman
A woman says to a man, I haven't seen you around here. Yes, I just got out of jail for killing my wife. So you're single!
Henny Youngman
There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.
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I told my mother-in-law my house is your house. So she sold it.
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The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, Mrs. Cohen, your check came back. Mrs. Cohen answered, So did my arthritis!
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I'd commit suicide, if I could do it without killing myself.
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My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.
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My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said,'Cough'
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A Polish man had his vasectomy done at Sears. Now when he makes love, the garage door goes up.
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On dancing on pointe: Why don't they just get taller girls?
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A Polish terrorist was sent to blow up a car. He burned his mouth on the exhaust pipe!
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