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Most girls are attracted to the simple things in life. Like men.
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
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Attracted
Girls
Simple
Girl
Things
Men
Life
More quotes by Henny Youngman
She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, Am I too late for the garbage? No, jump in!
Henny Youngman
I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.
Henny Youngman
You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.
Henny Youngman
The more I think of you, the less I think of you.
Henny Youngman
I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet.
Henny Youngman
Americans are getting stronger. Twenty years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars' worth of groceries. Today, a five-year-old can do it.
Henny Youngman
I know a man who is a diamond cutter. He mows the lawn at Yankee Stadium.
Henny Youngman
Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3 friends. If they are okay, you're it.
Henny Youngman
Is that your hat or are you wearing a cabana?
Henny Youngman
Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop.
Henny Youngman
What is a home without children? Quiet.
Henny Youngman
The other day I broke 70. That's a lot of clubs.
Henny Youngman
She must have Egyptian blood. Every time I try to kiss her she says, Tut, Tut!
Henny Youngman
A Jewish man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, Can I park here? No says the cop. What about all these other cars? They didn't ask!
Henny Youngman
What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.
Henny Youngman
A Polish man had a bandage on each ear. What happened? I was ironing, and the phone rang! What about the other ear? Had to call the doctor!
Henny Youngman
Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears. Don't answer!
Henny Youngman
I don't believe in reincarnation, but what were you when you were alive?
Henny Youngman
Most marriage failures are caused by failures marrying.
Henny Youngman
The hotel I'm in has a lovely closet. A nail.
Henny Youngman
