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Most girls are attracted to the simple things in life. Like men.
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Life
Like
Attracted
Girls
Simple
Girl
Things
Men
More quotes by Henny Youngman
I bet on a horse at ten-to-one. It didn't come in until half-past five.
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My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, Crick.
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My room is so small, the mice are hunchbacked.
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I'll never forget my first words in the theatre. Peanuts. Popcorn.
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I don't believe in reincarnation, but what were you when you were alive?
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She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, Am I too late for the garbage? No, jump in!
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I'm offended by political jokes. Too often they get elected.
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A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!
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A guy says, I'm so old that I forgot how old I am. An old woman says, I'll tell you how old you are. Take off your clothes and bend over. The man does this. The woman says, You're seventy four. The man says, How can you tell? The woman says, You told me yesterday.
Henny Youngman
Payday at my house is like the Academy Awards. My wife says: May I have the envelope please.
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The other day I broke 70. That's a lot of clubs.
Henny Youngman
What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.
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My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable.
Henny Youngman
A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says You've been brought here for drinking. The drunk says Okay, let's get started.
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She must have Egyptian blood. Every time I try to kiss her she says, Tut, Tut!
Henny Youngman
Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
Henny Youngman
We were married for better or worse. I couldn't have done better, and she couldn't have done worse.
Henny Youngman
I have a lovely room and bath in the hotel. It's a little inconvenient, they're in two separate buildings!
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Let's get up here before we get killed!
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My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
Henny Youngman
