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Most girls are attracted to the simple things in life. Like men.
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Things
Men
Life
Like
Attracted
Girls
Simple
Girl
More quotes by Henny Youngman
A woman says to a man, I haven't seen you around here. Yes, I just got out of jail for killing my wife. So you're single!
Henny Youngman
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
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I'll tell you how to beat the gambling in Las Vegas. When you get off the airplane, walk right into the propeller.
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Don't move! I want to forget you just the way you are.
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College: A fountain of knowledge where all go to drink.
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A Polish man had his vasectomy done at Sears. Now when he makes love, the garage door goes up.
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You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.
Henny Youngman
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Henny Youngman
A Polish man had a bandage on each ear. What happened? I was ironing, and the phone rang! What about the other ear? Had to call the doctor!
Henny Youngman
Two Polish men at Halloween with burned faces. What happened? They were bobbing for french fries.
Henny Youngman
We were married for better or worse. I couldn't have done better, and she couldn't have done worse.
Henny Youngman
He had a defect, which to a comic might be fatal. He wasn't funny.
Henny Youngman
I'd commit suicide, if I could do it without killing myself.
Henny Youngman
The more I think of you, the less I think of you.
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I have a car that I call Flattery because it gets me nowhere.
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My room is so small, the mice are hunchbacked.
Henny Youngman
Have I got a mother-in-law. She's so neat she puts paper under the cuckoo clock.
Henny Youngman
I went to the bank and reviewed my savings, I found out I have all the money I'll ever need. If I die tomorrow.
Henny Youngman
A woman was taking a shower. There is a knock on the door. Who is it? Blind man! The woman opens the door. Where do you want these blinds, lady?
Henny Youngman
My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, Crick.
Henny Youngman
