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I told my mother-in-law my house is your house. So she sold it.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Law
House
Mother
Sold
Told

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While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
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My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said,'Cough'
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She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, Am I too late for the garbage? No, jump in!
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Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
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I don't believe in reincarnation, but what were you when you were alive?
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My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night. Only this time, I stayed in the bathroom and cried.
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A tough guy told me, I'll bet you $10 you're dead. I was afraid to bet him.
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Now, the band that inspired that great saying, Stop The Music!!
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A guy says, I'm so old that I forgot how old I am. An old woman says, I'll tell you how old you are. Take off your clothes and bend over. The man does this. The woman says, You're seventy four. The man says, How can you tell? The woman says, You told me yesterday.
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There were three kids in my family. One of each sex.
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Is that your hat or are you wearing a cabana?
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I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
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I wish my brother would learn a trade, so I would know what kind of work he's out of.
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The other day I broke 70. That's a lot of clubs.
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