Quote

I told my mother-in-law my house is your house. So she sold it.

Henny Youngman

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Sold
Told
Law
House
Mother

More quotes by Henny Youngman

Image
What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.
Henny Youngman
Image
Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears. Don't answer!
Henny Youngman
Image
I was playing golf. I swung, missed the ball, and got a big chunk of dirt. I swung again, missed the ball, and got another big chunk of dirt. Just then, 2 ants climbed on the ball saying, Let's get up here before we get killed!
Henny Youngman
Image
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
Henny Youngman
Image
My wife drives the wrong way on a one way street. The cop pulled her over and asked, Where are you going? My wife said, I must be late, everyone is all coming back!
Henny Youngman
Image
College: A fountain of knowledge where all go to drink.
Henny Youngman
Image
He had a defect, which to a comic might be fatal. He wasn't funny.
Henny Youngman
Image
Now, the band that inspired that great saying, Stop The Music!!
Henny Youngman
Image
Are you married? What do you do for agravation?
Henny Youngman
Image
Payday at my house is like the Academy Awards. My wife says: May I have the envelope please.
Henny Youngman
Image
A Polish terrorist was sent to blow up a car. He burned his mouth on the exhaust pipe!
Henny Youngman
Image
I'm paid to make an idiot out of myself. Why do you do it for free?
Henny Youngman
Image
My room is so small, the mice are hunchbacked.
Henny Youngman
Image
There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.
Henny Youngman
Image
I'll tell you how to beat the gambling in Las Vegas. When you get off the airplane, walk right into the propeller.
Henny Youngman
Image
My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator.
Henny Youngman
Image
A motel is where you give up good dollars for bad quarters.
Henny Youngman
Image
I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.
Henny Youngman
Image
My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable.
Henny Youngman
Image
Everytime I ask what time it is, I get a different answer.
Henny Youngman