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My best friend ran away with my wife, and let me tell you, I miss him.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Miss
Missing
Friend
Wife
Tell
Away
Best
Ran

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Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
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The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, Mrs. Cohen, your check came back. Mrs. Cohen answered, So did my arthritis!
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I've been married for 49 years. Where have I failed?
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College: A fountain of knowledge where all go to drink.
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A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!
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There were three kids in my family. One of each sex.
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Most girls are attracted to the simple things in life. Like men.
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Are you Polish? Okay, I'll talk slower.
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Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
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If I had blood, I'd blush.
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A doctor says to a man, You want to improve your love life? You need to get some exercise. Run ten miles a day. Two weeks later, the man called the doctor. The doctor says, How is your love life since you have been running? I don't know, I'm 140 miles away!
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Doctor says to a man, You're pregnant! The man says, How does a man get pregnant? The doctor says, The usual way - a little wine, a little dinner....
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