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Everytime I ask what time it is, I get a different answer.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Answer
Answers
Asks
Different
Time

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I bet on a horse at ten-to-one. It didn't come in until half-past five.
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Is that your hat or are you wearing a cabana?
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I've kissed so many women I can do it with my eyes closed.
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My room is so small, the mice are hunchbacked.
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Two Polish men at Halloween with burned faces. What happened? They were bobbing for french fries.
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The doctor says to the patient, Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window. What will that do asks the patient. The doctor says I'm mad at my neighbor!.
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I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill.
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Are you married? What do you do for agravation?
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My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.
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My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat.
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The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, Mrs. Cohen, your check came back. Mrs. Cohen answered, So did my arthritis!
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I have terrible luck. Last week my chauffeur ran off without my wife.
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My brother then opened a tall man's shop in Tokyo.
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This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.
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He had a defect, which to a comic might be fatal. He wasn't funny.
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A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.
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What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.
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Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.
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