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I'll tell you how to beat the gambling in Las Vegas. When you get off the airplane, walk right into the propeller.
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Right
Vegas
Gambling
Airplane
Beat
Beats
Walk
Walks
Tell
Propeller
More quotes by Henny Youngman
A Jewish man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, Can I park here? No says the cop. What about all these other cars? They didn't ask!
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If I had blood, I'd blush.
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She must have Egyptian blood. Every time I try to kiss her she says, Tut, Tut!
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My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night. Only this time, I stayed in the bathroom and cried.
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Americans are getting stronger. Twenty years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars' worth of groceries. Today, a five-year-old can do it.
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Let's get up here before we get killed!
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Why are you hitting me, there is nobody behind us!
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What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.
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I live about four muggings from Central Park.
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My history teacher was so old, he taught from memory.
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My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
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Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.
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Are you Polish? Okay, I'll talk slower.
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My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.
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All men are not homeless, but some men are home less than others.
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I have a car that I call Flattery because it gets me nowhere.
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She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, Am I too late for the garbage? No, jump in!
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We were married for better or worse. I couldn't have done better, and she couldn't have done worse.
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My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable.
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I've kissed so many women I can do it with my eyes closed.
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